Emotionally Damaged HidanOC
by Kumio Tsuki
Summary: This story's centerd on Mikaru Aaki who is a ninja from Konoha, or WAS. She leaves in search for freedom and identity but is captured by Akatsuki. Rated T because of Hidan being Hidan with his colourful language, and some graphic description of dead stuff
1. Escape

Emotionally Dead

OC and Hidan pairing

Inspired by 'Pain' by Three Days Grace

By Kumio Tsuki

I'm sick and I'm tired of being treated like this, wait, I'm f***king sick of it. For almost 18 years, I've been treated like trash, sometimes even worse. What the hell did I ever do to them other than setting foot on this world? They hated me for ever existing, and if they weren't so scared of me, they would have disposed of me already.

My name is Mikaru Aaki, I'm almost 19, yet I've felt more pain than any one. I don't think I've ever felt I belong somewhere, even in my own family. My sister Shina is completely different from me. She has short yellow hair and bright blue eyes, following after mother. She's the girl that almost every boy is after here in the hidden village of Konoha. But me, I have long black hair normally tied in a low pony tail and piercing dark grey eyes. Everywhere I look, people avoid eye contact with me, ignoring me as I walk down the path of solitude. I was a lone wolf evicted from the close knit pack.

From when I was only a baby, to where I stand as a Jounin protecting a village that hates me. I've never been accepted. When I was small, I played by myself or sat somewhere looking at other children in their little groups smiling and laughing. Now every time Konoha is threatened I am always in the front line, in the most risk of dying. Through these years I have developed an independent personality, I work alone no matter how dangerous the mission is.

Every day when I fall asleep in the attic of the house I see myself curled into a helpless ball as the older bullies pushed me roughly against the tree. They applied force to my arm until I heard a sickening snap and myself howling in pain from my dislocated and probably broken arm. Every time I close my eyes I can see their evil grins plastered on their f***ing faces. Every time I see them, I automatically reach for my healed arm, knowing that they wouldn't dare try it again now. But I feel so insecure, and stupid for worrying about something that was gone and would never happen again. Though the pain was still there and would remain attached to me where ever I go. I have to forget this, I must in order to advance…

So that's how I came to make a decision of leaving the damned village, it's not like they'd miss me. Probably be glad that I suddenly disappeared. I am sitting in a forest somewhere north of the village, by myself. It's silent other than the rustling of leaves in the chilly wind and the occasional twitter of birds.

You probably think I'm mad for leaving the protection of the village, leaving my family. If you really say someone's mad then say it's the people in the stupid village! They judge me because of my skills; they're jealous and fear me! But maybe when you learn of them you'll be scared of me too. When I say 'Orochimaru' what comes to your thoughts? Some evil, maniac, mental, cruel and scary pedophile? Thought so.

Well that's how everyone at the village thinks of me, well maybe not that bad. Take out the pedophile bit. And you ask why? Because I have the same skills as him-I can control snakes, they're my weapon. All my Justus, swords and things have something to do with them. I'm all about poison, but then again, like any talented user of poison I was also a gifted healer. Wouldn't be good if I poisoned myself I couldn't save my own life.

OK, I know you think I'm a mad maniac, but how would others treat you because of your favorite animal was the same as an evil guy? Probably not much different. You don't know how I feel, you don't know what it feel like to be told that you could be a… relative of Orochimaru. It was possible, though I hated it; my mother wasn't a Konoha ninja to start with. She came to Konoha on a mission, fell in love with a ninja there and married. I was one when I first came to Konoha, I was told my real father died on a mission, not that I know if it's true.

I hated it, being told I was descendant to the terrible, once a Konoha ninja. Having rocks ditched at you while the stupid kids yelled horrible things. I put up it for so long, thinking once I reached Jounin they would start respecting me. But then they said I only passed because I had my snakes kill all the competition. They would hate me no matter what I did, even if I saved their sorry ass. But Orochimaru did some really horrible things, it really affected them, they hate his so much because of his 'experiments'. I must say he is an evil maniac who wants to rule the world.

Don't try to convince me to go back, they will kill me. The order will be 'Capture, if resists, annihilate' anyways. Suddenly another sound made me jerk out of my depressed state. I slowly drew one of my dual swords which were both soaked in poison. I was fully alert, ready for anything that would jump out.

But then a shuriken flew at me at supper speed, I managed to dodge it but what I didn't notice was an explosion note curled in it. It took me all I had to twist and leap out of the fiery cloud as it blasted the tree where it landed. Four ANBU members jumped swiftly from behind bushes. Looks like they were taking me as a super bad threat, sending 4 ANBUs.

"Go back with us," one who was wearing a cat like mask ordered

"Or die," another warned. But I didn't care, there was no way in hell I was going with them. They'll have to drag my dead body back if they wanted me so badly. I wasn't going back to that hell hole again.

Automatically I drew my other sword, ready for a fight to the death.

"We'll have to see who's dying first!" I yelled and charged at them. Leaping immediately in the fierce and life depending fight.

After a while I really didn't like how the battle was going, they alerted the other squads looking for me and I was kinda bruised. I managed to defeat the squad without much of a problem, but then more just kept coming. I was going to have to flee for my life now.

So I jumped up onto a random tree branch. I checked behind me for any unusual disturbances before launching myself forward. I urged my legs to take me away quicker as I mentally calculated the minimal time one of the other teams would pick up on my trail or discover the corpses of the teams I fought.

But before I could work it out, I could just hear a twig or something snap somewhere on the ground. My first reaction was to grab some senbon (needle like weapons) and ditch it at the sight of the noise. I heard something metal deflect it, and a kunai was flung my way. I threw one of my own to stop it, but just as I did something or someone appeared behind me.

Swiftly the person tripped me and I tumbled down the foliage, cracking branches and causing more bruising as I fell. I thudded painfully on the hard ground, winding myself with shock. I swore as I tried regained my breath, planning to slowly propped myself up but roughly some bastard put a foot on my chest, knocking me back down painfully.

I looked up to see who the hell the idiot was, but my blood froze when I saw who he was. Uchiha Itachi. An S-ranked ninja from Konoha who killed his clan then joined the Akatsuki! I didn't like how this was looking; especially I haven't seen his partner. I was dead meat by the way this was going. Itachi glared at me, and with a blink activated Sharingan. He was very, very angry for what I did. He glanced on my neck, moving his foot down a bit, probably recognizing the Hidden Leaf symbol.

"Itachi, what the hell happened?" asked a voice from behind me, I could really move to see who it was.

"This little girl just threw some senbon at me," Itachi replied, looking up, but returned to giving me death glares.

"Wow, impressive," the voice said again, but this time he moved around to face me. Kisame the shark like creature; who was once in the Hidden Rain but joined Akatsuki after the seven swordsmen of the mist disbanded for some reason. He turned to Itachi "And you aren't killing her?"

"I will, but she's not with a team, and she seems to have bad scratches and bruises,"

"So?"

"If you decide to attack the Akatsuki you don't do that alone," Itachi explained suspiciously and with that he used Sharingan on me, knocking me out cold.

I was in a world of despair; I could feel it in the heavy air. But when I opened my eyes I could see myself when I was small sitting on a bit of wood. All alone, then some people came, they were angry people. People who meant harm, they kicked me and punched me, every blow that was dealt on the small me was 100 times worse on the actual me. I felt like tearing up, I tried to push the evil people away, but it was like I didn't exist. I dropped to the ground feeling the pain spread through my body…


	2. Alive

I was suddenly dragged out from the nightmare, my whole body still ached, but it was only a dull memory now. I found that my feet and hands were bound together by rope, preventing me from escaping. I was kicked in front of a mysterious and dark shadow thing. It looked like a person, but more like a spirit.

"Itachi, why did you bring this girl back to our base?" the shadow thing demanded.

"I thought we could get some information out of her, she wasn't traveling with a team which is very suspicious Leader" Itachi replied, bowing slightly in the process. I couldn't believe that, it was completely different. He wasn't the dominating and leader like person he was on the field of the battleground.

Another person stepped out from the dark, he had white hair slicked nicely behind, and he had a metal symbol, a circle with an upside down triangle?

"Well, who the hell is she?" the guy said nudging me with his foot like I was plain rubbish. I wanted to punch the arrogant bastard in the face and I would have if I wasn't tied up.

"Some girl from Konoha, can't you see from the badge?" a deep voice growled, when I looked in the direction of where I came from I think I got a heart attack. He had really weird eyes, part that was white was green and the iris and cornea was a hideous purple (I think…). I squinted my eyes closed willing the afterimage to go away.

"At least I don't give people heart attacks," the white haired guy retorted with a smirk. "So what's gonna happen to her,"

"Get all the information we can out of her, then disposing her, right? Like we usually do?" a new voice said, I saw he/she had yellowish hair, with a lock of it covering his/her left eye. The rest was tied up in a high ponytail.

I gave his/her a questioning look, I hadn't heard of a girl in the Akatsuki yet? Was the person new?

"I'm Deidara, a male so don't even ask. But you probably won't need to know that, you won't last long," he smirks with a slightly evil grin.

"Well, hurry up and get the f***ing information out of her, I don't want to be hearing shrieks in the middle of the night. I've got a mission tomorrow!" the white haired guy complains, he sure was rude.

"So, girl what's your name for starters. Might I say if you don't co-operate with us you'll be dying a really painful and gruesome death?" Itachi commented, lifting me up from the shoulders easily.

"Mikaru Aaki," I croaked out the reply

"And you came from Konaha?"

"Yes…"

"But why weren't you with a team?" Itachi asks, lifting me a tiny bit higher so I looked directly into his eyes.

I didn't say anything, deciding to keep silent. Itachi repeated the question, adding a threatening statement into it. I guess I was breaking down; maybe all the bruises and cuts were shattering the barrier that I built around me. To protect myself from others, but when he asks where were my team? I could help but feel empty and desolate. I unknowingly let a single tear trickle down my face; all the pain that I refused to let out was concentrated in the tear.

"Don't give me that sappy stuff!" orders Itachi, dropping me suddenly then kicking me forcefully in the stomach. I reeled over in pain, curling into a tight ball to try and tell myself the pain would go away soon. But before it could disappear Itachi grabbed me and hauled me up, this time by the neck. I reached for his hands that were choking me, desperately trying to pry them apart.

"Tell me where your teammates are!" he ordered

"I… don't have any…" I yelled back, tears were now dripping uncontrollably down my bruised face.

"Don't lie girl," Itachi warned, shaking me slightly before dumping me on the ground.

"But I don't, I'm always alone!" I scream while trying to stable myself and stop all the years of pent up emotion from flooding out. "They always hated me, ever since I breathed in my first breath!"

The white haired guy seemed to be stunned for a second; he made a step towards me, but then decides to stay where he was. Itachi might have been surprised too, but he kept his face unemotional, a professional killer look still. He went to the leader and whispered something.

___________________________________________________________________________

"What do you think we should do?" Itachi asked the shadow being.

"We could use her hatred toward Konaha and let her help us destroy that blasted village…"

"Yes, but is she strong enough?"

"Try her. Tell her if she wins this fight she can live; but if she loses pathetically take her out. If she's worthwhile, then just knock her out. We'll discuss it with everyone else,"

___________________________________________________________________________

So Itachi approaches me and offers a fight, if I won I could leave alive. I accept, only because I couldn't really see why they would do that. Plus even if I won, I would be killed by ANBU's. So we stood in the middle of the huge cavern, ready to fight.

After a few rounds the bruises and cuts I got before hand were starting to take their toll. I was huffing and puffing while Itachi wasn't even breaking a sweat. All I could was block his attack, I couldn't even dodge them so I won't even try to counter one. Looks like I would have to use some jutsu's to win this fight. But then again I was going against Itachi, what was the chance of me winning?

So I retreated to a corner and summoned up two clones in front of me.

"What? That is just pathetic; you expect to win like that? You know I can see through that trick easily with Sharingan?" he retorts, but I smile smugly. I send them forward and Itachi charges at them, just like I expected. He would defeat them easily of course but that was all in my plan.

So in flash, he had sliced through them, the usual poof of smoke followed, but what came after… When the smoke finally subsided Itachi was covered in toxic snakes.

"Don't take me easily, I've earned the rank Jounin at only 15 and I was in the front lines of battle at the age of 17!" I warned, baking in the light of glory. I could practically taste victory on my lips. But Itachi just had to ruin it, it was only a clone. In the poof of smoke the snakes dropped to the ground and disappeared on my command.

Shit, where was he? I looked in every corner but he wasn't there, not in any of them. So I decide to set up a counter attack, just in case he attacks me suddenly. I quickly summon one of my snake clones and have it stand next to me. Just as I expected he attacks the real me, learning his lesson of not attacking my clones. But sadly he fell for yet another one of my tricks.

I quickly grab his hand, preventing his from escaping while I summoned something. Together with my clone-I used my left and it used its right- I swiftly did the hand seals of the jutsu while holding onto Itachi. Another big poof of smoke revealed a huge boa constrictor like snake, except if had huge poisonous fangs that was threatening his neck. With my free hand I grabbed 3 senbon and moved it to three exact points of his body.

"I wouldn't move Itachi, this snake has venom that will kill you 3 minutes max, plus I've got 2 vital points as well," I warned, and he dropped his kunai. I guess it made me drop my guard, because the next time he blinked, Mangekyou Sharingan was activated. I was looking straight into his eyes, and before I could turn away, it was too late…

I was thrown into a world of ruthless torture, it was like last time when I was knocked out by him, but this time the pain felt much worse. It was enough to make me die, yet I was still alive and living through the pain. I felt like I was getting ripped apart from the inside, like I was self destructing. Was this the power of the Mangekyou Sharingan? I curled up in my worn out and blood state, trying to regain my breath and prepare my body for the next wave of the pain to hit.

It felt like weeks, maybe even months that I suffered these pains before finally; I opened my eyes and returned back to the safeness of reality. I could still remember the dull aches in my body, although I did look much better than in the nightmare. At least I wasn't covered in blood and cuts. I slowly brushed my hand over my arm, feeling the scars on my skin while I rested in the warmth of a bed.

When I finally decided to open my eyes, I thought for I second I was still in the nightmare. What I saw on the ceiling right above me was a bloody symbol of a triangle and circle. Freshly smeared, and dripping. When I felt a drop fall onto my cheek and proving it was real; I shrieked my lungs out at the top of the highest note I could hit. Only stopping for a breath.

"Oh my f***ing Jashin, what the hell do you think you are doing in the middle of my ritual?!" a voice demanded angrily. I looked down from the bed to see the guy with a… sharp black spear through his heart and lying on the symbol.

"I don't think you're in a state to complain…" I reply with disgusted look "And where heck am I?"

"At the Akatsuki base, duh or my room to be precise. I think I have to right to say-get the f*** out of my room" he replies, removing the spear from his heart like it was a normal routine.

"Okay and why might I be here?"

"How the hell should I know, if I could have my say, you'd be used for my ritual,"

"Ok… and you are?"

"Why should I tell you?" he says with a smirk, wiping away some blood on his cheeks.

"Hidan! How many times did I tell you not to do a stupid ritual for your stupid god here? You know how much that carpet cost?!" the really freakish guy with green eyes yelled; as he slammed open the door.

"Would this be a good time for me to leave?" I ask, gingerly moving from the large blood red bed.

"You better go down and see Itachi, he wants to say something to you," he replies, and then goes over to argue with Hidan.


	3. Back Where I Started

So I walk slowly around, looking for Itachi, I didn't know why I was suddenly obeying them, maybe because my life was in their hands. Anyone of them could take it from me at any given time they wanted. I hated that my life was suddenly controlled, wasn't this why I escaped Konoha? Sigh, just to get caught here…

Suddenly I felt someone zoom behind me, it was pure reflex that I swiftly lifted a leg and swung it around, hoping to knock the person out. But as I reminded myself, they were the formidable Akatsuki, if I didn't get flipped over and slammed on my back I would thank god, not that I had one. It happened to be my lucky day I guess, since I didn't connect with anything solid.

"Tobi's a good boy!" said another new voice. I stared at him for a second, wondering if my ears had popped, did he just say 'Tobi's a good boy'? I couldn't imagine an Akatsuki who was in his right mind, say something like that. But he didn't look like one, apart from the cloak of red clouds. He had a mask over his face, but only one hole at the right to see with.

"Come again?" I asked, feeling something wasn't right with this guy.

"Tobi's a good boy, and Itachi-san wants to talk to you, he's down the stairs over there," he explained and pointed to a set of old stairs that were carved into rocks. The thing didn't even have a railing, not that they would really need one.

I headed down the stair, only just then realizing they were pretty long, not to mention steep. It was like a never ending spiral downwards. Every once in a while there was a statue of a dragon like creature wrapped protectively around a glowing jewel that lit the way. There was no other light apart from that and it gave an eerie sort of atmosphere, though I was completely home with it. My eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness and I soon didn't really need the lamp post things.

After what seemed like an hour of walking down the tiring steps I reached a door. Normally I wouldn't have bothered to knock and just ram my way in. But considering where I was, I decide to be more cautious. I politely knocked on the door a few times, and then entered looking around.

"So you've come at last?" Itachi asks sitting at a fancy cherry wood table. I could see it decorated with many things, and each of its legs was shaped in a dragon, a sphere in its mouth. Each of its scale was carved delicately making it look real; it was truly a work of art. All the other furniture in the room including about 12 chairs was just as professionally made with fine details.

"Yes, why didn't you kill me?" I asked, suspicious as ever, glancing at his and the 'leader'.

"Ah, straight to the point?" he said, his eyes were the only part that you could really see. They were so piercing that it made you feel he was digging into your brain for information.

"Yes,"

"Well, we're thinking of recruiting you since you have skills we certainly could use. We discussed it while you were resting, you barely got through," the Leader explained. "So, you can accept, or you could decline, though we would have to kill you to protect our secrets,"

That didn't leave me with much of a choice; it was live or die literally. I tossed the two choices around in my head; I could use this chance and find out more about Orochimaru who was once in the Akatsuki. Plus I was safe from Konaha; I doubt they would wage a war with the Akatsuki right now… But there was the downside, I could still be killed by the Akatsuki themselves if I proved unfit. I might be sent on assassinations, I didn't particularly like that idea. I wanted to control my own future, it was mine…

"Okay," I told them after minutes of thinking, I decided that I would risk it for the information; I would have to swallow my pride for it. I desperately need to know if I was a relative of Orochimaru, was all the rumors true, or was it just rumors.

"You can tell us the decision tomorrow if you'd like," Itachi commented, giving me an unwelcoming glare.

"No," I replied, I wasn't going to give myself time to change the decision. I had to use this chance or I would never get any information. I only stayed at damn Konoha for information, yet it was top secret and I would have to become Hokage. Something I would not do, took too much time.

"Fine, the cloak will be delivered to Hidan's room, we'll organize one for you immediately," the Leader said with no emotion, and with that he motioned for me to leave. Giving his a slight bow I spun on my foot and walked out of the room. But he called me back again, so I turned around to face him respectively. He was super fast, flinging a kunai at me that I wasn't even able to react to. I thought my plan might have been notice, but I discovered that it only made a mark through my Konoha badge, declaring I wasn't part of them anymore. I turned quickly, closed the door and started climbing the stupidly long flight of stairs again.

I was just randomly walking around the base, trying to find out how big this underground cavern was when I bumped into Hidan. He seemed to get note of the news already and gave me an unwelcoming glare at the mark on the badge.

"Here your f***ing cloak," he growled, tossing a package to me, then stormed down the hall; his sandals leaving an empty echo through the passage. I wondered why he was so mean to me, what did I do to him? Maybe I did stay in his room, but hey, I didn't decide that!

"Don't bother with him, un," someone said from behind me, and this time when I turned I resisted the urge to whack that person.

"Oh, hello Deidara-san," I greeted, turning to look down the now long empty hallway.

"He must be really annoying, but that doesn't matter. He's going on a mission and you'll have your own room when he comes back," Deidara sneered, then waved goodbye and disappeared into the darkness.

I let that information rolled in my head, it sounded so familiar. Hidan's eyes when he glared at me, his distantness, coldness and uncaringness; Deidara's words when he left. I couldn't remember though, or maybe I didn't want to. I stared blankly into the hall way again before turning and leaving it behind.

I didn't really know where I was going yet, I knew where Hidan's room was, but I don't want to go bug him. He might be doing a ritual again and he certainly didn't want me there. So the only thing I could do was wander around aimlessly again, hopefully not bumping into people who hated my existence. While I was doing that I found Tobi's, Deidara's and Itachi's rooms, all positioned in an isolated corner from other members. Maybe they were all like that, privacy and all? I ended getting bored out my mind and decided to just go back to Hidan's room and sharpen and prepare weapons for any missions. Not that I was expecting any.

So when I finally found out where it was I knocked loudly then entered. I closed the heavy door behind me and actually took a good look around me. Hidan really liked the color red; it wasn't that bad, a sort of velvety blood color. But it was everywhere; right in front of me the table was made of dark cherry wood and of course it was finely carve, but with swirls only. He had a pile of throwing weapons piled messily on the desk although there were marked boxes from the kunai, senbon and shurikens.

I sighed at his organization skills, being part of the Akatsuki didn't really excuse you of doing this. Sure their aim is to cause mass destruction, but tidying up wouldn't hurt. So I slipped into the soft chair and started to help pack up the assorted things. I had to be careful as some of the things looked like they could be rusting, though I didn't really understand why. I was pretty sure he didn't use them, I heard he normally just brings a scythe and the black spear.

I started to casually hum a sad tune that mother use to sing, it was all about loss and neglect-something I could definitely relate to. It felt like my own life story, only that I didn't half my village, though I had considered it at times. I moved the boxes of items around to be stacked neatly side by side; I brushed my hand at the back of the stand trying to wipe off the heaping dust. I was shocked thoroughly when the wood collapsed forward; the place around me was thrown into silence as I broke off my song.


	4. Secrets

I curiously peeked into the hidden area, wondering what Hidan could have hid in there. Carefully incase it was something dangerous I reached into the darkness, when I felt something hard with my finger I grasped it gently and retrieved it. It was super old; it looked like it wasn't taken out for centuries! I cautiously wiped it with my sleeve, breathing some air to blow away some of the remaining dust. It was a photo stand with a color photo slipped into it.

I peered into it, clearly it was old just as I expected, the color was fading but I could still make out the two people. First of all there was a boy; he had short white hair that was ruffled so it was pointing in every direction. He was dressed in a loose white shirt and black shorts that were up to his knees. But what caught me was his eyes, they were an extraordinary mix between pink and purple; it was hypnotizing. He was smiling playfully while a lady in her 30's stood above him with her two hands on his shoulders. She had long yellow and delicate features with rich, loving brown eyes. She looked so kind; she seemed like the person who would always protect those around her. It seemed to be autumn when the shot was taken, the gently wind swept up leaves and swirled them around the two people; it also fanned her brown hair out in the wind.

Suddenly I felt a presence behind me, glaring at me from behind. I turned around to lock eyes with a annoyed and frustrated Hidan. He clenched his fists together and bared his white teeth in a snarl.

"Get the hell out of my room girl," he growled

"Hidan-"

"Get the f*** out, now!"

"I-" I didn't get to say much else, as I was forcefully shoved out of the room, the door slammed behind me with a loud thud that echoed in the cavern.

I wondered why Hidan hid that photo, and why he looked so mad when I found the photo? Well I would be too if someone came into my room, but… Ok, I ran out of excuses…

"Wow, what did you do to Hidan?" someone said from besides you, you turned, finding it was that really creepy guy with the mask. "He rarely slams the door on someone who's new,"

"Uh… I think my existence," I commented, looking at the door blankly, I couldn't believe in the short time I've been here I've made another enemy who wants me dead.

"He's like that, well we've got a mission so bye," Kakuzu or whatever his name was said and wrenched open the door, then slammed it behind them. I wondered why it wasn't broken with all the times they slammed it?

So I just sat idly on some stairs while opening the bundle that was supposed to be my cloak. It was pretty much same as the other members- high collar, long sleeves and red clouds. I slipped it over my own clothes and buttoned it up. It was too big for me, way too big; the cloak was almost low enough to brush the floor. I sighed and decided I would have to work on it.

Carefully trudging bored to the lounge which wasn't looking too… good. It had a couch, but it looked like something mauled it, and the table could be classified as an antique. I spread out my stuff on the worn out table and took out test tube of poison and the information about them of them. I shrugged off the heavy cloak and started trying to find out how to counteract the toxins.

I reorganized the herbs and things that had gotten mixed and jotted down what things I would have to purchase since half of my test tube crashed in the escape of Konoha. Sighing as I tossed them away.

"What are you doing?" came a voice, when I looked up I saw a teenage looking red head who was of course wearing a cloak. He came and sat down on the couch and had a look at my experiments.

"Um… yeah, just trying to counteract the poison," I replied with what I could manage with a smile.

"Hmmm, what did this poison come from," he muttered, looking through the pile of paper.

"Oh, a tri-cobra," I quickly told his, fishing a snake from somewhere in my bag. Its three heads hissed madly and tried to bite his arm off if I didn't hold it away. But he calmly reached for it, I was plainly shocked. This wasn't good, I hadn't made an anti-poison yet and if it bite him… boy was I dead.

But he was still calm and composed and soon the hissing died down and it curled up round his arm.

"Oh, my god…" I stuttered, wondering why it did snap his arm of instead.

"I must say, where did you get the snake? It's quite rare and the poison is very toxic, could kill someone in less than 3 minutes. Plus the antidote is made of even harder to find ingredients" clearly he was a poison user to know all the precise information like that, and I was pretty sure he knew the formula.

"I have an affinity with snakes I guess you say, they come to me,"

"Really? Guess Leader-sama didn't make a bad choice. Well, would you consider selling the snake to me?"

"What?" I mutter surprised.

"Oh Sasori-dana, stop messing with poor Aaki," Deidara teased with a slight smile. "She's only been here for a while and you do this,"

"It's strictly business," he told his partner, then turned to me "Well, could I buy it off you?"

"It's ok, you can keep if it you want, I have another," I told his with a smile, packing up my things and stuffing it in the case.

"See Sasori, you're scaring her," Deidara argued as I climbed the stairs.

Just as I ran past Hidan's room I see him and Kakuzu exit, this time closing the door gently. Hidan still hated me and gave me a glare, warning me not to mess with his stuff again.

"Going on a mission?" I ask them

"Yeah, but more like a f***ing bounty collection," Hidan replied and glared at Kakuzu.

"Well, it's on the same route anyways," he replied and the duo left arguing.

Sadly that night I had to spend in Hidan's room, I felt completely unwelcome, but the Leader refused for me to sleep on the couch, so I crept in. I slipped into the cool bed and looked at the room that was enveloped in darkness. My gaze stopped on the desk and I guess curiosity got the best out of me and I opened the hidden compartment and there it was, the photograph. I took I out gently, noting the place so I could put it back later.

I flicked open a light switch and looked at the picture. It was beautiful, I was hypnotized with the purple pink eyes of the boy's and the lady's smile. So serene and peaceful compared to the young boys playfulness. They looked much like a good old family, I envied them. I never got a smile from anyone, not even my reflection in the mirror, so after a while, I stopped trying.

I carefully put the picture back and the bit of wood where I belonged. When I was sure that everything was in place I slipped once ore into the bed and closed my eyes. I drifted into a sleep before long. I dreamed of the boy and maybe his mother in the frame. I saw them play games like hide and seek, or sometimes even have picnics. Where ever the woman was, she always had a smile plastered on her face. It hurt me to look at her, I would always try to become a happy normal child, but I just couldn't mask the pain that lurked underneath. Everyday I would cry myself asleep and wake up with tears on my face.

It must have been quiet late when I finally woke up, as I starved for food. Slipping from the warm bed to the cold concrete floor was a hard thing to do, but hunger urged me along. I casually slipped something on and then with much reluctance, the cloak.

I struggled to climb down the stairs without tripping and making a complete fool of myself in front of the Akatsuki. I managed after some difficulty to hobble down the dangerous things and to the kitchen. When I saw a plate of rice and some vegetables left on the table for me and sat and wolfed it down.

I scrubbed the plate down in the sink while wondering what kind of mission Hidan was on. Was it an assassination, collecting a scroll, spying on enemies? I was wondering off in my mind when I must have missed the plate. I prepared for it to crash and splinter into millions on tiny fragments, but it didn't.

Looking down I saw a hand holding it inches from the floor. It was Itachi.

"Be careful, Kakuzu will be angry if you break it," he warns, then looks at my cloak, "I suggest you take that off while you clean,"

He leaves after advising me and I was all alone in the kitchen, again. I left the plates alone, afraid I would drop another and I wouldn't get lucky like this time. So I carefully left the kitchen, praying to any god out there that I wouldn't trip and land smack onto my face.


	5. My First Mission

So I returned to the lounged, surprisingly the couch didn't look that tattered, but it could be my imagination. I sat down and tried to open my case without destroying anything else. Without pushing up the sleeves I fiddled with the cap of the tube, cursing when I found I couldn't open the damn thing. I gave up and decided on another tube. I breathed in and opened it with ease, fumbling with all the other ingredients.

"Oh my Jashin lord, do you look f***ed up in that or what!" came Hidan's voice from behind me, it startled me since I hadn't expected him back already. In my situation I poured too much pine pollen into the poison and made it explode, causing the acid to drip onto the floor. Desperately I move a leg of the table to cover it up; hoping like hell Kakuzu wouldn't notice this little mark.

--Turing to the nuisance who made me stuff up AND loose 200 dollars worth of herbs I scrunched my face up and sighed.

"What, you looked in the mirror lately, because that cloak is waaaaay to big on you," Hidan smirked, tilting his head to the left a little, feigning innocence.

"So what brought you back here?" I retorted, standing up and eyeing him suspiciously.

"Don't even start me on the f***ing thing, Kakuzu lied about the mission, he just wanted me to help drag two f***ingly heavy bodies to this s***hole of an exchange place," he whined. I couldn't help but not feel sorry for him, but barely able to keep myself from bursting out in laughter. He deserved most of it.

I went back to packing, but taking off my cloak so it didn't interfere with my work. Carefully stuffing the tubes back in place, I left. Walking of to stash the case away I noticed Tobi, or rather he noticed me.

"Hello Aaki, you'll be happy to know that you're rooms ready!" he cried ecstatically for no reason at all. "Um, thanks," I replied as he pointed me in the direction.

I followed his direction and came to my room that was sadly right next to Hidan's. In an envelope attached to the door was the following message-

'Aaki,

You're rooms ready, you can accustom to your own taste. We put the essentials in already,'

Leader

I stuffed the note into my pocket and swung open the door. Glad to know that it was in much better condition than the lounge. The place was centered on the colors black and white, making it look more checkered. The bed had mainly back, but the sides had a white swirl pattern. I liked the desk best, how it was made of a dark, dark brown wood with white boxes arranged nicely on the side. But what I loved most was that I wouldn't have to share a room with the religion obsessed, Jashin worshipper and weirdo-Hidan.

Dropping the case on the desk, I was glad that whoever arranged the room had left a huge white table stacked with assorted test tube and containers full of herbs. I explored the room and decided I really like it. The wardrobe was filled with cloaks and I was pretty thankful that there were cloaks that were a few sizes smaller. Hidan wouldn't be able to tease me now! So I sorted through the other clothes, all black, some with fish net over the top, and some were just black with a red cloud.

I changed into a new set of clothes, tossing the old into a basket. I took out a new cloak and found it fitted perfectly. Satisfied I jogged out the door, only to find that it was eerily quiet. The silence was unnerving; I was used to the echoes of voices from the other side of the cavern. Whether it was Hidan's swearing or arguments with Kakuzu; or Tobi's cheerily sick catchphrase. I didn't like the stillness that use to haunt my dark world. I liked the busy atmosphere as it kept my thoughts wondering to unimportant things.

"Aaki! Where did you f***ing go, we've got a god damn meeting!" Hidan's sentence punctuated the wall of silence and brought me back to reality.

"Coming!" I yelled back in reply and chase after the distant voice.

Before soon I had jogged down the damned stairs and threw the door open while catching my breath.

"Well, take a seat Aaki, and let's get started," Leader announced as I pushed a chair back and settle down next to Deidara and Hidan.

"We have just received news from one of our spies in Yugakure (Hidden village of Hot Springs?)that they found out about our hideout. We need to eliminate the top 3 teams and shake up that village so they will drop the focus on us. Got it?" Leader explained carefully, looking in everyone's eyes to make sure we understood him before going on. "I'm going have to change the rules a bit, because I don't want to take the risk was 3 teams against 2 members. So I have decided to choose a three man team,"

The table started to break off into groups and discuss the plan, but Leader slammed his hand against the table and we returned our focus to him.

"The team going to the Hidden Rain will be, Kakuzu, Hidan and… Mikaru Aaki,"

Hidan glared at me with a shocked expression, he obviously was against this idea. He tried to argue, saying that the team wouldn't go well, but with two glares from Itachi and Leader, he shrunk back into his seat while cursing. The meeting was dismissed shortly after when we were told that we were to set out as soon as possible, today after and hour preferably.

So I sprinted up the stupidly long stairs and started to stuff the things into a small bag, since I would have to drag my case of poison along with me. I mentally checked off the things-clothes, senbon, antidote, swords, triple banded python, ringed cobra…

-"Hurry the f*** up Aaki!" Hidan complained from outside, then opened the door to scream at me some more. "I wanted to finish this as quickly as possible!"

"I'm coming, god, take a chill pill," I replied as I heaved my case and small bag, strapping the swords to my back.

"You ever heard of 'traveling light'?" Hidan teased as he walked down the stairs in front of me. I ignored the sarcasm there; I looked forward to what he would stay when he got poisoned.

The great stone bolder that was blocking the entrance shifted like it weighted a measly 1 kg when Leader released the seal. And as it inched to the left I felt the warm sun rays fall onto me; I lifted my face and bathed in it. Forgetting I hadn't seen it for maybe a week.

"Come on Aaki, let's go already!" Hidan started to whine again, so I gave him a glare and followed. To get to the Hidden Rain would take about 2-3 days walking, and then taking a boat which would be 1 day. I didn't look forward to these days I would have to spend with Hidan, not at all.

I found that Hidan and Kakuzu preferred to walk on the solid ground instead of leaping from trees, but maybe Hidan would have trouble carrying the three bladed scythe. I preferred the ground since I could quickly spread out the case and make myself at home during battle as if we traveled in the air I would have to unseal the case and set up-troublesome.

One the first night I didn't think it could get worse, Kakuzu and Hidan argued all day long like I didn't exist, something about a bounty on some guy in the Hidden Rain. Kakuzu wanted to get the bounty first, and then go after the teams, but Hidan insisted that we just go after the teams. And finally when we stopped for the night, Hidan brought the whole world down with his speech about getting Jashin-sama to smite Kakuzu since he was a cheapskate and made us stay in the forest instead of a hotel.

I tried to ignore them and worked on the toxins while they shouted at each other, but then Hidan does something incredibly idiotic. He aims a kunai at his partner, but it was deflected easily and went straight though the tube I was holding. Smash, splinter, crack and I found the test tube was broken, obviously. It dropped to a ground in a heap of useless glass as the black poison leaked into the self centered bastard didn't even apologize, I felt like smashing his head in, see how he'd like it! But instead, I breathed in, and packed away, afraid that some other harm would come of it.

The night was cold and I felt like my toes would drop off, I had to agree that a hotel of any kind would have been better. Curling up and resting my head on the branch I tried to fall asleep, and I did. But some inconsiderate idiot-namely Hidan- growled something out in his sleep.


	6. Sleeptalking Sleepwalking

The moon was a bright crescent against the night sky; I woke up to find Kakuzu gone and Hidan continually muttering something. I leaned down, and tried to make sense of the words.

"Mother…(something un interpretable) No… don't leave me…" I leaned closer as his voice faded off; I saw something glisten on his cheek that slid down to his chin.

"You f***ing son of a b****es, I'm gonna kill you! I want revenge! Jashin will smite you to ashes, then f***ing smite you to microscopic particles!!!!" he yelled, I quickly retreated thinking 'wow, what an array of beautiful language, and I thought I was problematic!'

I wondered what he just said at the start, was I just hallucinating from the chemicals from my cracked test tube? I must be, and since Hidan quieted down without another rant that night, thankfully.

"Aaki, we're going," Kakuzu's voice announced, and I opened my eyes to see the green foliage of trees against the bright sunlight. I yawned and stretched before jumping down from my perch, collected my stuff and off we went.

I guess Hidan's complains and whining did get through to Kakuzu, as this night we did stay in a hotel. Although it was a completely old and eroded one, what a cheapskate that guy was, talk about treasurer of Akatsuki, more like the hoarder!

It was a plain wreck, but at least I had my own room, but then if I didn't get one, I would pay by myself. No way was I gonna share one with those two freakos. The tiny room only had the most basic of things, a hard bed, a scratched desk and a small lamp that kept threatening to throw the room into darkness once more.

After a nice arm bath I changed into a light silken night dress and climbed into bed. The night was silent except for the occasional chirp of crickets from outside or a breath of wind shaking the place. And the moon shone its light over the vast plains and forests while stars twinkled and blinked in the night.

I closed my eyes and focused in the boat ride to the Hidden Rain, this mission obviously wasn't easy, and I didn't know if I would live. If the teams all came at us, then each one of us would have to take on one whole team of Jounins, and I didn't think I was that good yet. I dispersed that thought from my head and tried to concentrate on living and digging up the information. So far I couldn't go into the secret library though I knew where it was. I only discovered that Itachi was once Orochimaru's partner, but Orochimaru left after a fight with him though I didn't know why. He now resided somewhere in the Land of Sound, though keeps changing his location frequently. Sighing I turned in the bed and hoped to drift off to sleep soon.

'~Clank, muffled steps, fabric being ripped, swear words…?~' I sat up in the bed frustrated, what the hell was happening? Can't I get one night sleep without Hidan screaming in his sleep? Could he have started sleepwalking? The noise continued, and I snapped, I flipped the cover off me and stood up on the cold wood. That's it, I didn't care if Hidan dies of suffocation, I was going to stop this damn thing once and for all. Walking to the door and preparing to grab it, it suddenly flipped open, startling me very much. And without another word a hand shot out and I found myself choking as it tightened around my neck.

"Mikaru Aaki, we are sent by Konoha to eliminate you," the hoarse voice explained and I saw another one of them slide silently next to me. I struggle in their iron like grip, I reach for my senbon, but I find that I placed them on the shelves, shit. I thought desperately for any other way I might be able to at least get them off me without having to use the only snake that I had on me that I could do without a seal. It would have been my ace card, but I only used it in the most threatening situations as the result can get pretty ugly in a short amount of time. Something I didn't want to witness again in my life time.

I rummage through my head for answers but the only thing it could come up with was 'use the snake!' Maybe it was because the huge lack of oxygen because the next thing I knew I was shouting on the top of my lungs. "Yuukudo, show yourself!"

A black fog immediately rolled in, and the stars and moonlight dimmed to almost nothing. It was pitch black, the perfect battleground for Yuukudo. The room was transformed into a realm of evil and poison, even the fog contains miniscule amounts of Yuukudo's deadly poison. I covered my nose as the assassin retreated, but they couldn't escape. The place was silent for a while, even I jerked my head around when I felt something slither past my leg and into the fog once more.

"Long time no see," a voice only I could hear echoed inside my head. It was heavy and would make the bravest ninja's flee from it. I shivered in the fog as I felt it sent a chill through my bones. Without warning the room was filled with two piercing screams of bloody murder, but it ended as abruptly as it started. It was over.

Yuukudo wriggled down to my legs, entwining and climbing up my body as the fog thinned to a dark grey. Moonlight broke through the thick blanket and then I noticed how large it had grown. Its body was maybe 3-4 meters long, but it kept a skinny figure. Yuukudo continued to wrap around me until it settled for a place to rest on my right shoulder.

"You forget about me..." it hissed as I felt its black tongue flicker next to my ear, nudging my cheek with it's dead cold head.

"What the f***ing hell happened, we hear shrieks and…" Hidan demanded but trailed off when he stepped through the mist and saw me. Kakuzu followed, and his eyes widened in shock. I knew what they were gaping at, the after effects of the ritual. There was a bit of grey scale like thing that replaced my skin on the left of my eyes that trailed to behind my ear. My hair was a still black but streaked with light green and my eyes were probably a shade of dark green. And with the snake wrapped around me it would be a scary sight for anyone.

But then Hidan spanned his head to the left and saw the human bodies. He tapped Kakuzu and pointed at the corpses, or what was left of them. I didn't dare to look and closed my eyes already feeling nauseous and sick. I knew too well what they looked like. The bodies would just be rotting flesh, it would be clinging to the snapped bones, blackened from the poison. The flesh would be a hideous purple and would drop to the ground from the slightest vibration. And the internal organ would be green and look like they were left to decay for years on end. The face would be beyond recognizable, but the worst parts would definitely be the eyes. How they would stare at you and torment you at night, glare at you and point with their holey fingers that would fall off. Without pupils and irises, just a red ball of goop with random cracks and trenches of blue in them.

Just thinking of that made me sick, I turned and clenched the top of the desk, practically snapping the frail wood.

"What's wrong Aaki, too much for you? We use to work so well, didn't we?" Yuukudo teased, turning and gesturing at the bodies.

"That was before I saw what happened to the people," I replied, "and me…"

"What? Did you kill these people?" Kakuzu asked, nudging the body, but ass soon as it came in contact it shattered into ashes just resting on the ground.

"I… I…didn't mean it, it's just that…" I muttered, turning to them with a pleading look, I felt tears well in my eyes.

"Didn't mean to!? You and that snake didn't just f***ing kill them, you mutilated them that badly within 2 f***ing minutes! Don't give me that c***!" Hidan snarled as he stared into my eyes.

"I… really didn't mean it, it was the only thing I could do!" I sobbed, trying to hold back the tears while I blinked.

"Don't bother reasoning with these idiots. They don't understand your greatness. Kill them; make them the past, a sacrifice for your glorious future!" Yuukudo insisted, curling around my neck protectively. "You can do it…"

"No…" I pleaded "No, please…"


	7. Misunderstanding

Hidan took it the wrong way, thinking I was denied the fact that I did it without knowing what I was doing.

"You b****, I can't believe you kill people like that, without even a f***ing reason! You're worse than any monster or devil!" Hidan raged on, he lost control and without a second thought he lunged at me, attempting to slap me, and I deserved it.

But my long time partner was very against it. It intercepted the attack in the matter of nanoseconds.

"Don't you even dare, or you'll find your self an addition to that pile of ashes!" Yuukudo threatened to everyone in the room, its voice was harsh and angry from what you were use to. A black fog started once more to roll in as it bared it's long, sharp fangs.

"Stop Yuukudo!" I ordered, and it looked back at me, with confused eyes. I glared at it, warning that it better stop now. With a hesitant look from Yuukudo, the black fog faded again.

"You're lucky this time, but don't let me catch you hurting Aaki again, or else…" it hissed, and released Hidan from its death wrap.

"You b****," Hidan murmured and slammed the door, apparently Kakuzu had already left silently sometime during the fight.

I fell onto the bed, covering my face with my hands and reflected on my actions. I couldn't help but feel useless and uncontrollable. Why did I call upon Yuukudo for help anyway? Why did I value my life so high? Why did I cling to it so tightly? What had my life changed from living each day as I came to this; hoarding it and protecting it when it was such a useless thing?

Tears started to trickle down my cheek and I muffled then in the pillow as I cried my heart out that night. Yuukudo seemed to sense the threat was over and with a flick of its tongue and a 'see ya later' it vanished. I curled into a tight ball and whined as quietly as I could, hoping I could disappear like that too. To never be seen again, to go back to my life of solitude once more. So I never ever will meet Hidan and the rest of the Akatsuki…

I woke up in the morning with the worst sore throat in history, and my eyes were dry and aching. I couldn't breathe through my blocked nose, but I was glad to see I returned to the old me; even though I look like I've been through an earthquake. I change into my Akatsuki cloak and shirt and pack; checking for anything thing I could have left before trudging down the stairs.

Kakuzu and Hidan were both waiting, but none of them wanted to go and call me down like they use to. Hidan still glared at me with much hatred, and didn't say anything for the whole journey; not even when we arrived at the border of the Hidden Village of the Hot Springs. He hated me, probably despised me like all the others.

I ignored him too, but Kakuzu seemed ok about last night and went through the plan to take down the squads all at once. We would lure the teams to a large opening, then ambush them altogether so it wouldn't alert the village to send more squads. Obviously he wasn't in any doubt that I couldn't take out the 4 Jounins with ease.

I hated that though, it was like he didn't have to care about me anymore because I could take care of myself now. He wasn't in danger of getting punished by Leader because he didn't protect me. Then when I get back, the rumor would be all over the base. Then I would be a loner once more.

But I went on with the mission like a professional, rounding the too confident team to the assigned point, and I was late, just like all the other times. I can't believe the squads were the 'best' of all the others. They fell for every tiny trick I played! The snake clones got rid of two easily, then another one went down with my pitfall technique. The last one was slightly tougher, but nothing like a genjutsu wouldn't fix. I sighed while I watched him lie on the ground stiff, Kakuzu was still finishing off 2 and Hidan was… Where was Hidan!?

I stood up and looked around, but I couldn't see him. Suspicious, I walked off into a direction where there was a clearing, hoping to find a clue. It was after a while of aimless walking that I found the steady drone of chanting-Hidan and his weird ritual.

I followed it, making sure I didn't alert him with a snap of a twig or something. I stealthily approached him from around the back, watching him stop in front of a stone thing. He kneeled down on the ground and pulled some weeds from around the stone. It was then I noticed that there were faint words carved onto the stone, but the years of erosion had made it nothing but a bump.

"Hey b****, long time no see. How life down there, you're gonna have to tell me 'cause I ain't gonna go down there. Have you found the old man? Is he going good? And yes, I have been doing sacrifices to Jashin-sama often. Did I tell you I joined this f***ing organization called Akatsuki? Well I did, there's heaps of really f***ed up people there. Don't worry about me, I'll to rituals often for ya," Hidan chatted to the worn down stone, often giving it a few good pats; but then he said in a quiet voice, "See ya, mum…"

He put a foot up on the stone, giving it a good look before turning away to leave. But just as he did, a kunai flew from his hand and barely missed me.

"Show yourself, and be prepared to be f***ing smited by Jashin-sama!" Hidan yelled and pointed to were I lay silent.

I stood and walked out of my camouflage and into the open, looking down to the ground. I knew I just heard something I wasn't supposed to hear.

"Aaki… You dirty little b****, what did you hear?" he demanded with a hint of nervousness in his words, clenching his fists into balls.

"I'm sorry, but I heard everything…" I confessed, biting down onto my bottom lip.

"You bloody b****, you ruin everything!"

"But I-"

"You are the most idiotic person to not understand the word privacy! And you kill others out of sheer randomness!"

"That wasn't it, Kohona-" I try to explain but Hidan doesn't listen. I felt so mis-understood, it was just like Konoha, and it was everything I was running from.

"Stop trying to f***ing explain, I saw it with my own eyes!" Hidan yelled "You don't understand pain; you don't know what it feels like to loose someone! You don't deserve to ever have friends, you lie and pretend to have a friendly facade, but you're really just a heartless murderer! You're worse than Itachi, at least he doesn't pretend to be what he's not! At least he doesn't lie!"

You felt like someone stabbed you through the heart countless times, but of course it was just an illusion. He just had to go and poke at the sensitive area, didn't he? But what Hidan said was right, and you couldn't help but start to cry. A single tear dripped down your cheek, followed by others and before you knew it your face was wet.

"That's right! I'm a person who doesn't ever deserve friends, I lie and I pretend to be what I'm not! Maybe that's why I've never had any, I'm always alone! But then again who would want to be with me? I'm rumored to be Orochimaru's daughter, the daughter of a maniac! But you have no idea what it's like to go through your whole life being looked down on, pointed at and have stones ditched at you!" I shriek hysterically while I hiccupped

"You don't know what it's like to be looked down upon when you achieved at the highest standards. I practice day and night, I do the most dangerous missions, and I'm at the front line during war! But what do I get? I get blamed for things that aren't even possible! No matter how had I've tried for these 17 years, no matter what I do, everyone hates me! Why do they hate me for existing, why do they judge me like this! It's because of people like you that innocent people like me suffer!" I shout at the top of my lungs. Every one of the words I yelled was something I've always wanted to say, but never did. I believe in justice, but in every corner of the world I looked, there was only more pain waiting for me.


	8. Alone

I looked into Hidan's eyes intensely, etching the words into them, but all I could see was a blurred image of him. I turned and took off, not wanting him to see this side of me. I wiped my eyes on my sleeves while wondering why I told him that; both of us would be better living in our own little world. It would be best not to cross at all, not even now that the other existed. I kept to myself and I would continue to live a life of solitude. People look at me with the expression of why I don't tell others, but keep all the pain to myself. It's because if I actually became friends with someone, it would only bring them into my world of despair and hatred. It would be hard for me to ever live like I use to, alone and by myself. My only friends will always be me, myself and I…

The wind that blew into my face was sharp and hard and it pushed the tears from my face. I continued to swiftly leap from branch to branch, hoping that my blurred vision didn't lead me to crash into a trunk. But when I sensed that the thuds of someone traveling behind me I turned around but continued to run from him.

"Leave me the f*** alone you bloody Jashinist, I don't want to see your f***ing face again in my life!" I shrieked hoarsely, tossing two kunai is in his general direction since I really couldn't see through the tears. This seemed to stun him, as his halted in my chase and I turned and sprinted full speed.

When I heard a crashing of a waterfall I swerved and headed for it. I ran through trees and bushes and nearly slammed into one, but I managed to dodge them. I settled for a place close to the slosh of water close to the waterfall. Even though I had nearly stopped crying, the thoughts of always being alone, always causing others pain, always pretending to be someone else I was not brought the tears back on again. I shrieked and howled, somehow comforted that no one would distinguish my crying from the waterfall.

17 years, 17 years of pain, 17 years of neglect, 17 years of loneliness came out in my cries and yells. I screamed until my throat was hoarse and I couldn't utter a single word. My throat was raw and painful, focusing chakara under my feet I walked slowly to the waterfall. I stuck my head under the roar of the water and tried to breathe smoothly and calm myself.

When I finally stopped hiccupping I was thoroughly soaked, as well as my ears ringing loudly. My body was numb, but I wasn't sure whether it was the cold or the sadness. Except of the red eyes and tired look, you wouldn't be able to tell I had been crying. In the wavering reflection of the water my black hair was plastered to my face and my grey eyes looked dull. I trudged to the shore were I sat motionless and dead from the inside. If an ANBU member came now I would happily throw myself onto their sword without hesitating.

But after maybe 3 hours I rose to my feet and collected wood to make a fire, then caught some fish, all without showing any emotion on my face. I thread a stick through each fish and stuck them around the crackling fire. I curled up in a ball by the fire, my clothes were still damp but I didn't care. It was night time already, another day passed. I had survived another day. I was just like one of those stars up in the night sky, if one of them stopped shining one day, one would notice or care. Compared to the moon they were so insignificant and little. If I died, would anyone notice? Would someone bury me and give me a grave, or would I be left to rot, left to be eaten and mutilated?

Alone, always alone, that was me and my life. I stared into the sky again, wondering about my dim future. The Earth would keep rotating, the people still living, the sun still spreading warmth, like nothing ever happened… Like nothing ever happened… Like I didn't ever set foot on this world… Forgotten like an unloved toy.

I closed my eyes, sighing to myself when suddenly there was movement behind me. I remained still, to tired and unbothered to attend to that person.

"Finally found you," Hidan sighed softly you saw him grab one of the cooked fish and tucked in like nothing ever happened. "Mmmm, this is good! You should be a cook,"

I kept silent and didn't even move; I might as well be dead for all I cared.

"Hey, Aaki. About the incident at the hotel…" Hidan murmured softly, then even softer "I'm sorry…"

I was pretty shocked, but all I could manage was sitting up, look at him and give a tiny nod, meaning I forgave him. He gave me a fish and I chewed it neutrally, not bothering with the taste. The rest of the night was spent in silence.

I dropped to the ground after a while, preparing to sleep, too tired to bother.

"You're gonna catch a cold with those wet clothes, here have my cloak," Hidan said and slipped off his own, tossing it to me. I catch it and hold it against me; I was really worn out and fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.

When morning came I felt sore all over, although I did regain most of my voice. I checked my reflection in the water to see that I just looked tired not that I'd cried non-stop yesterday. I managed to smile crookedly though it looked horrible in the water. Sighing I returned to get the last wisps of sleep I could before Hidan wakes up.

My clothes were still damp but I still didn't care, so I flung Hidan's cloak over the top and closed my eyes. I didn't get to sleep though, not because Hidan urged us to move along, but Kakuzu appeared.

"Ok, I've just collected the bounty for one of the 'Jounin', let's go," Kakuzu announced.

Hidan sat up and grabbed his cloak from me. "Ok, let's go,"

So we continued the blasted journey back, Hidan returned to arguing with Kakuzu about hotels and bounty collecting, like nothing ever happened. But I shall never forget, no matter what happens.

It took us more time to go back to the base, mostly because Kakuzu chased after this guy who was supposed to have a huge bounty on his head, only to find it was the wrong guy. Hidan's complaining also got us a hotel, so I have nothing against that anymore.


	9. Home, Sweet Home

I was absolutely thankful when we arrived back to the base. To me it was much safer that wandering around in the forest and more comfy than anywhere. At least I was slightly respected and not had assassins ambush me. Plus, strangely I felt at home here, with a bunch of mass murders around me… They all had their secrets that would remain untold, people to hate and reasons to kill. But they all had their own past, even though they wouldn't bother with it, they would never forget it. And they clearly had a line between fights and emotions.

I flop onto my bed as the thought of Hidan popped into my head; the scene at the waterfall really wasn't like him. I'd be more prepared for him to jump of a cliff and impale himself before believing he just apologized. But hey, it wasn't a dream, because I was clenching Hidan's cloak still since I forgot to give it to him.

I tossed it to the side, it may be morning but the journey took a hell of a lot out of me and I needed rest. I tried to sleep, but my mind went to Konoha somehow. 'I wonder what they're doing…' Maybe going to the Village of Hot Springs? To the Hidden Rain to plan the next move? Surely they'd pick up my trail and track down that I joined the Akatsuki, then return to planning my death. I sighed once more and blanked my mind, welcoming fatigue to knock me out.

When I finally woke, it was dark as in pitch black. It was well into the night but I was starving, so I crept down the stair silently and snuck into the kitchen. I quietly opened the fridge and sorted through 'assorted' stuff. It included cake marked-Don't even f***ing think about f***ing taking this or get ready to f***ing die!-, or something that looked like a head of a human-thankfully it was facing away from me or I would have freaked so bad. I backed away from the fridge, thinking that if I didn't die from mis-eating something, then I would die of a fright.

I didn't have anything to do, I was bored and starving, what could I do! I practically went to slamming my head on the table with frustration, but didn't as Hidan would kill me for waking him up, like all the other members.

"Oh my Jashin, so hungry," someone complained and my head shot up, out of all the members, why him?

As I though Hidan trudged into the kitchen, and was slightly shocked to see me.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked heading for the fridge while looking back at me.

"Don't even try in the fridge, I think Kakuzu's storing something in there, something dead," I muttered, dying from hunger as another cramp struck me.

"Really?" Hidan asked but still opened the fridge. He peered into the suspiciously then turned back with a disturbed look.

"Remind me to force Kakuzu to dispose of that," Hidan sighed and reached in to take out 2 pieces of cake or maybe bread. "You want a bit?"

"Yeah," I replied, too tired to care about who was giving this to me. I reached for the plate and dragged it in front of me. Sticking a fork into the food, I brought it to my lips suspiciously. Sticking out my tongue and tasting the bread, it was sweet and sugary, something I didn't think existed in the Akatsuki.

"You like sweet stuff?" I asked while chewing quietly on the cake, letting the sweet flavor linger on my tongue.

"Do you f***ing know how much blood I loose in a ritual?!" Hidan retorted, and I guess that was it for that question.

"So I'm guessing you just did one?" I comment, looking for wounds and blood, yet there weren't any evidence on him.

"Yeah, last minute really, I had no sacrifice, so on my next chance I'll definitely do a proper one," Hidan replied while eating.

The conversation lapsed into an annoying silence, it was just the occasional flicker of the light or maybe a cling of a fork of the china plate.

"Uh, Hidan would it be ok if I asked you something?"

"Go ahead,"

"Is that photo in your room…" I muttered "is it you and your mother?"

Hidan refused to speak, probably deciding whether to say something or to keep silently, his brow furrowed in the effort he put in.

"Yeah, it is. Long time ago," Hidan finally answered, grabbing bother plate and dropping them in the sink. "Long, long time ago,"

Without another look at me, he left the kitchen and me. I guess he didn't want to talk about it, but why? Curiosity crept over me as I passed him room on my way back to bed. Why was he so hesitant about it? Why did he seem to have two sides of him? Why did he put the photo in a secret compartment and what was he hiding? I opened the door and dropped myself on the bed, I had a lot of questions, but were lacking in the number of answers. Hidan seemed so mysterious; he didn't even seem to be sad when he was in front of his mother's grave. I sighed and turned, repeatedly asking myself those questions.

I woke up in my clothes all wrinkled, but then I couldn't be bothered to take them off last night. I stretched as I walked to the bathroom and washed my face and flattening my clothes as I went down for breakfast. Thankfully there was something edible served up-eggs and toast.

As I was finishing up I could hear Hidan arguing with Kakuzu, probably about that 'thing' in the fridge.

"What the f*** is wrong with you, you're keeping f***ing heads in the fridge!" Hidan growled in the lounge, accusingly pointing a finger at Kakuzu who was on the couch.

"Hey, that 'thing' has a high bounty on it, and there wasn't anything else to put it in!"

"Well if you actually SPENT some of your money on a freezer, then you wouldn't have this problem!"

"I have to give it to Leader, remember!"

"You do enough side missions to earn more, I'm sure you're just f***ing hoarding it!"

I took this opportunity to sneak away from the kitchen. Tip-toeing silently I climbed the stairs and gently pushed open the door. I smiled slightly when my eyes scanned over the velvet red room. I closed the door behind me and snuck to the desk. Taking the picture from its resting place I couldn't help but try to smile the best I could. This seemed the closest to the real family I would never have.

I couldn't stop staring at Hidan's smile; you wouldn't see that often, that is if you could ever see it. His purple eyes glistening in the sunlight as he smiled playfully. It was cute, but I wouldn't be able to say that anymore. Hidan had changed; he had a well defined masculine face, not the round childish face. Plus, if I could use one word to describe Hidan, it would be definitely be rude.

"How many times did I tell you not to go into my room?" Hidan's voice sighed, although it was more of annoyance then anger. Before I could turn he already grabbed the photo from my hands and took a good look at it.

"Sorry, but I was just curious, you look very different from the photo. I wouldn't be able to recognize you if it wasn't for those eyes," I reply standing up.

"You do know curiosity killed the damn cat?"

"But I'm not a cat," I whined with a smirk. As I closed the door I saw Hidan shake his head slowly with a small grin plastered onto his face.

I jogged down the stairs, bumping straight into Deidara.

"Hey un!" he smiled lightly, "How was the mission?"

"Uh, it was good, tiring though," I replied truthfully.

"Thought so, you'll get use to it after sometime!" he joked and walked off.

I roamed through the base, bored as there was nothing to do. So at last I settled in my room and got to work on my poisons. It was so long since I saw them.

I woke up leaning painfully on the cold desk. I stretched carefully not to sprain my neck more than it already was. I jogged around my room picking up my clothes and pulling them on, aware that I'd been sleeping for ages. Just as I slammed open door Hidan shot out as well.

"Shit, shit! I'm gonna be late!" he complained while shrugging on the cloak, not bothering even to button it as he ran off. I sensed that something important was going on and sprinted to catch up to Hidan.

"Hey, what's going on?" I panted as he twisted and turned down corridors.

"A damn meeting," Hidan replied without much difficulty as opened a door.


	10. OMFG 'oO'

"Hidan, Aaki. Try to be more on time," Leader commented as others were already seated.

"Sorry," I apologized quickly and dropped into my soft seat.

"Well, first things first. We have quite a lot of work and missions to discuss," Itachi contributed and looked at Leader.

"That is right, we will be sending out 2-3 teams," Leader explains.

"The Konoha ninja's have sent help to the Rain and are trying to take us out once more. The team going to take out the threat will be," Itachi read out "Sasori, Deidara and Zetsu,"

The little group looked at each other and gave silent nods.

"The second mission is in the Hidden Snow," Leader states "We've hear that the eight tails resides there. Kakuzu, Hidan and Aaki, it is your job to capture the Jinchuuriki, ALIVE."

I heard Hidan mutter something incomprehensible, probably complaining about no sacrifice.

"The team should depart in 1 hour maximum," Leader ordered, "Meeting dismissed, but Aaki stay here for a while,"

Slightly cautious, I watched all the other members flood out of the large plush room. Silently I repeated their names-Kisame, Itachi, Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu, Deidara, Sasori and this blue haired girl supposedly called Konan.

"Well done Aaki," Leader announced when the door closed. "You have passed,"

"Passed?" I asked lifting a eyebrow.

"Yes, and we officially welcome you into the Akatsuki as a full, operational member," Leader explained, handing me something.

I opened it slowly, until all the paper wrapping dropped to the ground in a tiny rustle. It was a ring with the word Japanese kanji 'poison' etched neatly in.

"Put it on, it will allow us to contact telepathically when I want to, so I can call you back at anytime," came the hollow voice.

'More like keep me in a chain and probe my thoughts,' I think, careful I didn't put it on yet.

"Thank you," I replied and twist the perfect ring on, some how feeling my privacy dropped into a bottomless hole. With a respectful bow, I turned a left to climb up some stairs, fun.

What was the point of forcing us to get up early when the meeting was so short? Plus why were we going on a mission again in like 2 days?! I complained to myself while running up to my room, but I didn't have to really pack since I hadn't taken out most of my stuff from several days ago.

All I did was stash in some warmer clothes and some new herbs and maybe some money since Kakuzu didn't look like he'd spare any. I rushed out of the door wondering why every mission was so sudden. Hidan burst out of the room next to me and sighed, dragging behind him his huge scythe. His black bag was bulging at the side because he total over stuffed it.

"Let go, I want to get back soon," he sighed as Kakuzu arrived emotional inadequately as always.

"Yeah, did you know there's this guy with 20,000,000yen bounty on his head?" Kakuzu exclaimed as we slowly walked down the long flight of stairs to the exit.

"Don't even think about it," Hidan warned as the bolder slipped open for us once more.

I liked the feeling of sun against my now pale colored skin, it was nice and warm as it beat down. But Hidan seemed to have something terribly against it, it was 'too cheery' as he said. He always had a frown on his face when the sunlight managed to stream through the barrier of leaves above us. He seemed to be right at home when he was secure in the base though.

Hidan complained and whine more as we neared the Hidden Snow; it was obvious as it got colder and colder. I wore a thick white cloak and tried to cover every square cm of me as we trudged through the frozen waste plain. Hidan had a red cape that was easily identifiable from the white snow; he was always at the back though.

"When in hell are we gonna get to the f***ing place!" Hidan growled, clutching tightly at the warm material.

"Soon, soon," Kakuzu replied but it only made Hidan more frustrate and impatient.

"You said that 2 f***ing days ago bastard!" he shouted, whirling around to face him with a glare.

"We're here," Kakuzu replied calmly as we emerged from the forest where the snow weren't able to fall through properly.

It was a blizzard outside, the snow flakes whirled through the air like little dancers, spiraling to the ground into heaps. But beyond that was a village, a village built amongst the ice. It was white and was camouflaged by the forever falling snow. It looked fragile from here, like a little disturbance would shatter its beauty and peace. The disturbance from us…

"Let's go, I'm freezing my ass here!" Hidan yelled once more, breaking the cool silence.

"Uh, coming," I replied and run up to my team, my heart beating strongly against my heart, a sense of foreboding streaked through my body like it was trying to warn to me to leave this desolate, snow capped plains. There was something, somewhere in me that recognized this place, and it didn't want me to know about it.

We ventured deep into the village still, hiding our uniforms with the cloaks tightly drawn closed. The snow wasn't as heavy here, but it still sprinkled down. We walked around to find a cheap hotel, even though we had past quite a few that I wouldn't have minded to stay in. But here we are now, standing in the freezing cold plains as we walked into a pretty poor district.

Suddenly a voice broke through the frustrating silence, beating Hidan to screaming out something random.

"Mama!" yelled a voice, but only I turned to see what the commotion was all about. Probably some kid got lost, something I didn't really care about. But I should, because the next thing I knew SOMETHING was embracing me at the waist. I was startled for a second and stood there for a while, taking in the shock of what the hell happened.

"Mama, I found you!" rang the voice of a young boy who was maybe about 5 years old.

"Um?" I mutter, looking for help from Hidan and Kakuzu, but the seemed stunned as well.

"What the hell was _that_????? o.O|||" Hidan asked, shaking as he pointed to the 'thing' that was desperately clinging to me. "You never said that you…"

"Aaki, is this why you stopped at the gates?" Kakuzu asked calmly, but his eyes showed shock still.

"No! I really didn't!" I insisted before trying to pry off the young child gently. "This isn't funny!"

But Hidan started laughing anyways; I sent a glare at him while trying to move the boy off me quickly.

"It's your fault for doing something that results in 'that'" Hidan chuckled evilly.

"I'm not his mother, ok! Get that through your thick skull!" I retorted, and then kneeled down, holding the crying boy away from me. "Hey you lost or something?"

"Don't leave again mama!" the kid sulked, completely ignoring my question, he crushed me in a hug again while Hidan started to drift out of his shocked state to a smirk.

"Let's go home mama!" the kid cheerfully cried and began to pull me into a westerly direction. Of course I could have easily kicked him off, but that would be too mean. I looked back over my shoulders once more to see Hidan with a smirk.

"See ya later!" he joked before I was whisked down winding alleys.

I wasn't sure how many blasted turns, because when we arrived in front of a pretty much abandoned house I felt dizzy.

"Granny, mama's back!" the boy yelled in joy, dragging me into what looked like a kitchen.

"What?" asked an old lady who was laboring over a stove. "Oh my, you really do look alarmingly like Mio,"

"What?" I muttered in total confusion. What the hell was happening here?!

"We apologize for the inconvenience; it's just that Nato's mother hasn't ever returned from her S-ranked mission. I was told she died in battle, but I couldn't tell the poor child that. You looked so much like Mio, just too young," the lady told me, I couldn't help but feel a bit sad for the kid. He didn't even know his mother had died, unaware that she would never return to their poor excuse for a home.

"Why don't you stay here tonight, and just give Nato a chance feel a mother's love," she pleaded, I hesitantly agreed. It's not like Hidan would miss me, and plus, I could do with a good relaxing day that wasn't full of 'let's f***ing get going already!'


	11. Too close

So I spent the rest of the agonizingly long day playing with a cooing Nato. It was full of games that I never played in my childhood, like hide and seek, chasey… all because I had no one. In a way, I could describe my experience with the child a 'fun' and 'new'. But I couldn't linger on emotions as it would only affect my career as a Akatsuki member. I needed to remain a heartless, silent assassin with no feelings of joy and innocence that would make me unable to eliminate an enemy. This was the path I chose and I would stick to it, no matter how hard it was.

"My, my. If I didn't know better I could have sworn that you were Mio!" the granny exclaimed as I rested on a slightly broken chair.

"Really? Well what was the dangerous mission that Mio went on?" I asked out of curiosity as I munched on a biscuit.

"I don't know much but it was something to do with the Jinchuuriki, had to take it somewhere," the old lady explained, a little sad at the mention. This reminded me of my own mission, I decide to probe in some more, and then Kakuzu couldn't scold me on wasting time…

"So, where did the Jinchuriki reside?" I urged casually.

"I think it was in the castle, but I'm not sure,"

"Do you know what it looked like?"

"Well, it had black hair and an evil aura around it,"

"Really?" I continued but then Nato dragged me outside to play, great.

The night was silent, as I analyzed the information I gained in the morning while sitting on a branch of a large tree as snow try to drift through to me. The sun had just sunk down, leaving a shimmering pink on the horizon, casting strange shadows over the white horizon. So, we should go to the castle and formulate a plan to break in. Search the floors for a black haired girl with an evil aura… That wasn't really good; hopefully Hidan and Kakuzu would know more about our target. But what was really distracting me were these 'visions', every time I close my eyes, I imagine a dark place shrouded on mystery and dark fog. But when I try to go deeper and see through the barrier, I lose it and get thrown back into reality.

Suddenly a rustle of fabric and leaves caught my attention; I swiftly flicked my head in the direction of the disturbance.

"Hey Aaki, so how was your stay? Was playing hide and seek with that brat fun?" Hidan teased with a smirk on his face.

"Shut up Hidan if you want some information on the eight tails," I argued with a growl, standing up with a bit of trouble as the branch started to sway.

"What information?" Kakuzu cut in, seriously.

"Well, I managed to find out that the Jinchuuriki is probably in the castle, it has black hair and an 'evil' aura. Though I'm not sure about the last bit, it's probably a superstition," I reply

"So did you formulate a plan while you were at it?" Hidan sneered, although it was really half hearted and more of a joke.

"And let your lazy ass relax?" I retorted with a smirk. "I doubt it,"

"So, you think the Jinchuuriki is in the castle?" Kakuzu asked.

"Yeah, at least someone should know where it is if it isn't in the castle,"

"So how about a plan?" Hidan once again jokes.

"Well, how about we sneak in as far as we can to the king, then pry the location from him?" I suggested out of the top of my mind randomly "The Jinchuuriki may come and try to save the old guy, and everything falls into place,"

"So when are we gonna infiltrate them and kill some f***ing people?" Hidan asked eagerly, already impatient.

"You do know we're trying to cause as little disturbance as possible?" I replied, wondering if Hidan did understand.

"We'll go today, since it's going to be a new moon," Kakuzu declared dominantly and quickly sprang from the branch.

Ii was hard to keep up with Hidan and Kakuzu when they were leaping agilely through the frost bitten trees. I was utterly surprised when Hidan jumped swiftly from a branch to another with the heavy scythe on his back. While I had to give everything I had and go almost full speed to catch them. But maybe my night of endless thinking and superbly 'wonderful' day had dulled my usual senses. I kinda relaxed too much at the child's home, knowing it would never be my home.

They stopped abruptly behind some bushes as I skidded to a halt. Both of them gave me a glare under the dull light of the stars.

"So '_genius',_ how do we get in?" Hidan asked ironically, being the idiot he was. But I didn't have to answer and Kakuzu promptly lead the way behind bushes, scrubs and assorted things until we were at the back to the castle. I finally got a good look at it to find it was made out of grayish stones, blurring it with the snowy background.

Slowly, tiny flecks of snow drifted down onto us, and I was sure I heard Hidan complaining about hurrying inside.

"Listen girl, we'll jump on the balcony over at the right, then when the guards come which is 1 seconds after we land, we jump to the left to the private balcony over there. We'll enter the building from there, and Hidan, don't go around randomly killing or screaming things," Kakuzu warned, accenting the last bit threateningly.

"Fine, just expect a 30 minute ritual when we get back!" Hidan argued and sighed, preparing to leap onto the banister at Kakuzu's count.

I was a tiny bit behind them as they jumped for the hiding spot and with perfect timing they landed on the balcony. They were already jumping onto the next block when I reached the first. Slightly panicking when I saw lights illuminate the floor very close to me, I didn't plan for the jump so I just awkwardly leapt in the general direction.

I didn't surprise me when I missed them by a meter or so.

"Oh shit," I murmured when I looked down to find a group of soldiers standing guard. What fun would it be if I landed right in the centre of their search… I could feel myself closing in on the descent down to the solid ground. But then did I really expect to complete this agility course with perfection? Agility was one of my strong points but I guess precision in the air wasn't an ally of mine. I was fast on the ground, but hopeless off it.

"What the f*** was that bitch?" Hidan growled quietly as I felt something latch onto my wrist, stopping me from falling into the group of soldiers. I opened my mouth to reply Hidan's comment, but he only gave me a glare, telling me to shut up if I didn't want to be discovered by the soldiers.

Just as Hidan predicted a group of guards appeared from the corner, carelessly checking the area before walking off. And as soon as their footsteps on the concrete faded off into the distance Hidan harshly hauled me up to the balcony.

"You really suck," Hidan sneered as he dropped me on the hard rock.

"Shut up if you want to stay as one piece!" I whispered threateningly, groggily standing up from my dangerous experience.

Kakuzu who had been ignoring our argument simply moved on, checking the paths in front as we moved on into the center of the huge castle. But suddenly behind us we all hear someone's footstep approaching. Without think Hidan slammed open the closest and shoved us all in harshly. I was forcefully pushed into a random direction as the door closed, enveloping us all in darkness.

I was really cramped in the tiny thing, so cramped that I had to squish next to Hidan. I could hear and feel his heart beat under my hands as I breathed quietly hoping that the person would just leave quickly. I felt my face heat up randomly as I impatiently urged the slow person to move the heck out of here. The silence was driving me to the edge of madness as I felt Hidan warm puffs of breaths at the back of my neck as the closet was too short so he had to bend over me. My cheeks were now a scarlet color as I felt the heat rise; it's probably the humidity in the closet though.

I let out a sigh as Hidan introduced light back into the world again when finally the person past.

"Jeeze Aaki didn't know you were so scared of the dark, you're bright red!" Hidan teased as we walked out from the little dark room.

"S-shut up!" I whispered but my voice was crackling and tight. Not very convincing.

I concentrated to sense anyone coming close to us as we made our way deeper into the castle. I followed Kakuzu closely as I rubbed my burning cheeks to ease the heat. I nearly bumped into him when he stopped abruptly in front of a grand door.

"In here," he mumbled as he tried the door to find it swung open easily. But the bad news was that on the other side there wasn't just the king, but also a bunch of fully armed guards. Looked like they were expecting us after all. And something told me that they weren't going to be much of a push over.


	12. Ignorance is sometimes Bliss

"How dare you try to assassinate the king? Which village are you from!" the leader of the squad ordered harshly.

"First of all, were not f***ing after you idiotic king, he doesn't even have the potential for kidnaps!" Hidan retorted with a smirk at the end.

"Now," Kakuzu explained getting back on the topic "Surrender the Jinchuuriki or else,"

All of the members of every squad here was utterly furious at Hidan's little comment and probably wanted to rip him into millions of tiny bits.

"How dare you!" one of the members at the back shouted, charging at Hidan with a large sword that was resting on his back. Not one of us even flinched at this stupid attack. One-Hidan was immortal. Two-He seemed stupid enough to yell out his attack. Three-Hidan wasn't someone who would curl up in pain, probably cut the bastard's head off in a swoop.

We were right, as soon as the guard thrust the sword into Hidan's leg; Hidan promptly used his three bladed scythe to slice him cleanly in two. Both parts dropped onto the ground, creating a pool of blood which was mixed with Hidan's own as it trickled down his leg, soaking his cloak on the way down. He laughed madly as he made the symbol for his god, those people were gonna be lucky to die quickly.

The rest were furious and nervous at Hidan's attacks and just Hidan being Hidan. But they didn't really have much time to decide which one was worse, because as Hidan screamed out a wish to have a bloody battle he charged at them; clearing a path with his long scythe.

They were stronger than the last group of 'Jounins' we fought, but they certainly weren't a match for us. But that didn't let us relax, as even though they may not be strong they certainly were experts in following up attacks and unique weapons. Every time one of the members used a water technique someone else would immediately use an electric jutsu on the water to shock us. And the weapons, some had the most weirdly shape swords, but they were excellent conductors for fire and electricity.

It took us long than expected to finish them off and by then Hidan was stain with his own blood yet he was smiling like a maniac. Probably did heaps of sacrifices for his god Jashin.

"Let's go," grumbled Kakuzu who open then grand door engraved with many dragons which would have looked quite nice without the splatters of dark red blood. Hidan kicked away a few bloody bodies and opened the door widely so his scythe could fit through.

"Well, well, we've been looking for you," Hidan grinned as he wiped his blood over lips. "Now why don't you tell us where the Jinchuuriki is before we force it out of you?"

"We-we don't have a Jinchuuriki here!" the young man replied, backing away from us.

"Don't lie, Jashin will smite you!" Hidan demanded angrily, tapping his hand with his retractable black spear. "We know you have an eight tailed snake Bijuu here! (I know technically it's an ox and octopus, but I'm gonna base it on the Japanese Mythology of the tail beasts. Because the closest Bijuu that controlled poison was a half chicken, half snake that were husband and wife in one body…???)

"But we don't!" the idiotic king insisted, looks like he was gonna go through some bad stuff.

"Listen, if you don't want to get tortured badly, and have slow acting poison injected into system, you better spit it out now!" I warned, letting a snake slide up my arms as I cornered him against the wall.

"You-you're…!" the man yelped in fear as his eyes were wide in shock.

"Mikaru Aaki, you know me?" I press on quickly.

"No, no, you're Kurei Heiko!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Nonsense!" I screamed back, getting the urge to punch him. What was he yelling at, he must have gone mad!

"No, no!" the king shriek shrilly "You're Yamata no Orochi! You're the Jinchuuriki who brought disaster to the Snow. It's you, it's your entire fault, you cursed us, that's why we ordered Mia to ship you off! You were suppose to stay in Konoha and kill them, kill them all!"

I was shocked at what he yelled at me. First in thought it was just some random sentence he put together, but looking into his eyes, I could see he wasn't lying. I don't think I really know what happened next, but it was probably due to the shock as I completely blanked out. My mind was running in circles but it still didn't get anywhere new.

"Aaki, watch out!" Hidan yelled dully at the back of me. But all I knew, was that as I scanned my brain desperately for a route that wouldn't lead to the same conclusion, I felt something at my stomach. I gasped as the pain washed away my thoughts, I felt the warm liquid ooze out and drip down my leg. I looked down to see a horrible, but disrupting sight which was pretty welcome as I didn't like the conclusion I was coming to-I WAS the eight tails.

I saw the sharp silver blade jut out of me, as my blood which covered the blade drip down, the blade regained its silvery color and flashed as the light from the chandelier caught it. I clutched at my deep wound with one hand in pain, shrieking as I felt the person slowly retract the blade. I could feel it bend and shake as it past my organs; I was skilled enough in human biology to know he puncture my stomach, left lung and probably broke 3 ribs, closely missing my heat and major blood vessel.

I dropped lifelessly onto the ground leaning on the wall as I felt pain surge through my badly injured body-make that 4 rib bones. I saw Hidan's shock written on his face and my attacker. I looked onto his badge to see he was from Konoha. 'Damn you…' I thought as my vision blurred and I lost consciousness as I felt my body numb.

___________________________________________________________________________

I looked at the man in shock, then turned into anger as I saw the badge, symbolizing he was a ninja from the Hidden Leaf.

"Kakuzu, take Aaki and leave, I'll gonna wipe him from existence," I ordered, Kakuzu knew better than object and picked up Aaki's limp body before leaping off into the distance.

"Why do you attack people from the same village!" I demanded, furious.

"I was ordered to kill her, and so I did," he replied emotionlessly.

"You'll regret it!" I yelled and with a flash I was behind him "You're gonna f***ing regret you were ever born into the f***ing place!"

The battle was easy, I was much faster and with a few deep slashes and stabs, he was on the ground. Obviously he wasn't dead, but as payback he could bleed to death, I needed to catch up to Kakuzu.

When I leaped from the building with dead accuracy, I saw people on the ground running away in panic, so scared that they didn't see me. 'They don't deserve to be alive, those who think of themselves first. Those who obey other's orders without a second thought, they shouldn't even be born' I thought.

Normally I would have swiftly dropped down and taken their lives with ease, savoring each and every moment that fear misted their eyes. I loved how they would have desperate pleads written on their faces as they tried to run from death, pitiful. But I haven't time to waste, and sped up.

Soon, I caught up to Kakuzu who was hauling Aaki over his shoulders like he did with corpses.

"How is she?" I asked, barely noticing that was voice was cracked, but the wind that whipped our sentences away hid it well.

"It's keeping her alive," he replied hoarsely, not even turning to me.

"What?"

"Yamata no Orochi, the bijuu is sustaining her life. The stomach acids normally would have flooded the blood stream and given her an agonizing death, but the bijuu is fencing it in one place," Kakuzu muttered as he slightly tilted his head to me. "It's saving her life actually,"

I kept silent for a while, pretty startled to now the f***ing bijuu was saving her, but if she died, it would too. The selfish little monster. Kakuzu suddenly broke off our straight path, swerving to the left. I followed to find a small clearing. The grass was mostly green as the tree above were thick evergreens that blocked the snow from falling through. At some corners, flowers were in bloom, unaware it was winter and there were no bees around to pollinate them.

"Damn things," I mutter as Kakuzu lowers Aaki's body to the ground. I saw from behind Kakuzu the little glowing ball of black chakara that shielded her wound. As Kakuzu began to stitch up the worst wounds I couldn't help but watch and wonder why the f***ing little monster didn't save her from the f***ing assassin in the first place. It would have saved us a lot of c*** like this.

When the wound stopped bleeding profusely and Kakuzu finally stitched up the troublesome b****, he left us while grumbling that his cloak had been stained.

"Shut your f***ing rambling," I muttered while sitting before the girl. She looked pale and white like me after a ritual, but she did look pretty hot, if it wasn't for her self pitying attitude that was around her all the time. She may have had a harsh life, but build f***ing bridge and get the f*** over the crap, it's what I did and now I'm perfectly fine. (Right…)


	13. Yamata no Orochi

I look back at Aaki, even in her sleep she had a frown painted onto her face. I reach for her wrist to try and see if her pulse had gone back to normal yet, but when I was just a few centimeters away from her, a dark and evil aura enveloped me.  
"Touch the vessel, and you'll be wishing you WEREN'T immortal!" the echoic voice hissed, it was sinister and cold, like it was from the bottom of hell. I looked at Aaki, but she didn't even flinch, guess I was the only person who heard the threat. Retracting my hand I turned away from her, suddenly aware that she changed to a person even more unapproachable. I left her alone when Kakuzu returned, I just went to sleep while keeping an eye on her just incase something happened.

I woke up on the flat ground, it was nice and soft; I enjoyed the natural smell about the place as it was something I wouldn't get to now in the base. I did my best to sit up, but when the pain surged through my body faster than an electric shock, my memories came back too. I remember the fight at the castle, I remember coming to the conclusion that I was the vessel for the Eight Tails. But what was clearer than all of them put together was out little 'talk'

I remember that after drifting away from reality I arrived in a dark and gloomy pit where dark blue fire would leap out suddenly from the side. It was a REAL pit from the darkest corner of hell. I was standing on a little island surrounded by blood, as I stood frozen to the spot, a black fog swirled in. I recognized this place too well.

"You're finally here…" a low and poisonous voice hissed softly, somehow it sounded like Yuukudo, but darker and more sinister. I looked straight to see a huge cage that could fit several mountains in it easily, it was a golden color and it was padlocked shut with 8 different locks. But above them all was a seal of some sort. If I looked deeper I could see something slithering and moving behind the thick bars of the cage.

Mistakenly, I took a step forward, only to remember that I was standing on a little island, and far under me was a sea of red. Just as I thought, my foot didn't connect with solid ground and I panicked for a second, but then my foot hit something hard as it elevated me back to the piece of ground.

"Careful little girl, you may not be able to die here, but a wrong move can lead you to suffer emotionally for years on end," it warned, then the rock I was perched nervously on jerked forward to the cage. Clinging onto it as I roughly parted through the red, sometime if it dipped a bit too low, a bit of the red liquid would splash me.

"Tell me, what is your name," it mutter from behind the cage as it moved towards me slowly like it was awakening from a thousand year slumber.

"M-Mikaru Aaki," I stuttered as I felt its hot breath blow onto my skin.

"Aaki, is it?" it whispered as I felt something wet tie around my waist, then without warning it slammed me down onto the rock, sending echoes through the cavern "You nearly got us killed you idiot, if you die I die! I can't believe you blank at a time like that! Don't do it again!"

I gasped as slunk away, resting my poor back against a boulder as a head of a black snake appeared from behind, it flickered its red tongue threateningly. But what scared me from my toes to my hair, was when another head appeared, then another, and another until eight heads were visible, all with blood red tongues. Along with that I saw eight tails, which were joined at a point with the large heads. I couldn't believe it, an eight head and eight tailed snake! Was it the reason that I could control snakes so well, did it mean I wasn't related to Orochimaru?!

I tried to calm myself down as eight pairs of crimson eyes glared at me, but they had different expressions, some annoyed, some angry and some ready to kill me if it could get out of its prison. Some of the deadly heads hissed as they were once again enveloped in the darkness and only one head stayed in my view.

"So Aaki, I want you to know, that there are many dangers in the world outside. Don't trust anyone other than yourself, watch your own back," it warned as it lowered its head until I felt its breath suffocate me. "Don't die…" And with that, it slinked away with the others and I was left all alone in the empty cavern. I gave one last look at the Bijuu sealed inside me, and turned, hoping that I would never relive this experience again in my life.

I shook myself back to reality, groaning in pain as I eased myself into a sitting position.

"Stop trying, the stitches won't hold and then Kakuzu won't be happy," Hidan growled although he still looked in the other way as he rested on a bow of the tree.

"Hey where are we?" I asked curiously as I lay back down, suspicious because the grass was green and there were some small flowers.

"Hidden Snow still, but the tree's blocking out the snow. Couldn't leave since you got f***ing stabbed because you didn't f***ing move out of the way. What the h*** is wrong with you, you just stood there blankly!" Hidan snarled in reply.

"Yeah…" I muttered, suddenly my brain caught up with me. The person I had called mother, wasn't my mother, maybe she was already gone? I was born into hatred, I was shipped out of my home(not really since I wasn't welcome either) and to a foreign country on a mission! I was born to be a tool, a simple tool to assassinate others.

I turned to face away from Hidan, breathing in deeply to stop myself bursting into tears. Was this why I had a feeling of foreboding deep inside of me? Was it trying to protect me from the cold hard truth? I raised my hands and cradled my head, but it was very frustrating to know you were born into the world with a tag place on you labeled 'Stranger' , I was treated like a simple item used for barter.

My nails dug into my skin as I tried to ease the emotional agony with physical pain.

"You ok?" Hidan asked, acting completely ignorant of what I had just gone through.

"Just kill me…" I pleaded, as the truth explained everything I had questioned, but instead of welcoming the news, I rejected it like I never ever wanted to know it.

"Shut up you b****, have you heard of building a f***ing bridge and get over it?!" Hidan yelled at me, grabbing me roughly by the shoulders and looking deeply into my clouded eyes. He leaned down until he knew I was paying attention to him, squeezing my shoulders. I felt him hot breath on my face as I glared into his piercing pink eyes.

"Leave me alone!" I growled back in response to his stupid suggestion. I would have disemboweled him then stuff him into a bottomless pit, see what he could do then!

"Don't act like you're the only one who went through emotional pain!" he ordered, baring his teeth like a mad animal.

"So what if someone else did! You think discovering you were only born to be an assassin is good?" I retorted. "Let's see someone match that!"

"You're looking the person in the eye right now!" Hidan screamed and let me go abruptly, turning so he face away from me. "You don't know how long I pretended to be loyal to my enemy to taste sweet blood and revenge on my lips. You don't know what I did to prove my loyalty, I acted all f***ing nice to them, I made them into the greatest Hidden Village and did the riskiest missions, all for their trust."

I rolled onto my side and looked at Hidan; maybe he really did understand me after all? Why couldn't I be like him, who showed no pain at all, was it even there anymore?

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up," I muttered in apology.

"I'll tell you anyway, so you better listen and stop trying to get everyone to spare some pity!" Hidan teased but his voice was heavy with hurt.

"One day when I was seven, I was playing with my friends outside of our village-The Hidden Village of Hot Springs (Yugakure). But suddenly, a strange appeared, when we started to scream in panic, he took out his sword and attacked us. It was the first time I experienced so much pain, I thought I was going to die as blood spurted from my heart. The other kids ran, forgetting about me, their loyal buddy. I lay there in agony as I felt my body turn cold, I hated my 'friends' for deserting me, I wanted revenge, sweet revenge…"


	14. Inner Animals

"Then, I woke up. I thought it was all a bad nightmare, but when I got up, I saw the pool of red around me. It wasn't an illusion, it was real and I was alive. I crawled back to the village leaving a blood stained trail, but when they saw me, they treated me as a stranger amongst them. They were scared of me, they despised me. They thought I came back from the dead, but I convinced myself that I only fell unconscious"

"Two days after the incident, I got lost in the woods by accident when mum told me to go out and collect some good dry wood for fire. We survived in a simple way, bread and meat, nothing much. It took me a whole night of wandering to finally find my way out. I headed for home while trying to make up an excuse for no firewood and the scraps on my knees, but when I saw the sight in front of what was left of my home, I was devastated."

"My home was a wreck of flames and falling wood which fed the flames to rise higher and higher. My mother was bound and tied up on a cross surrounded by angry villages. But what made the blood boil inside my veins were that no ninja or people helped her; everyone was against us. I heard them continuously scream at mum, asking her where I was, but mother kept silent; her mouth drawn in a thin line as the flames licked at her. From the look in her eyes I could tell she was protecting me, and before they found me, I ran deep into the forest; suddenly wishing I stayed lost,"

"What happened then?" I pushed, addicted on the bitter-sweet story from Hidan, after all it's not everyday he tells a story like that.

"I decided that in order for revenge, I would need power, and to get that I would have to rejoin… So I got contacts, dyed my hair and change my name. And went back to Yugakure. I went to where my house use to stand, but now it was just a pile of burnt wood. I stayed there and fended for myself, while trying to find out why mother was burned alive. But what I found scared me, she was accused of being a worshipper of Jashin, a god of death and destruction, that's why I live. It was written in some myth that a follower of Jashin would gain immortality and destroy Yugakure. When I found out about this, a new feeling of hope grew in me, if I really was immortal… I could get revenge, but there were still things I didn't know."

"As the years past I rose in ranks, Chuunin, Jounin, and higher, until I could go into the Hidden Library for these top secret information. I spent all my hours devouring this information, I learnt that to fully unlock the power, I would have to do sacrifices, and sins like not fully slaughtering a person or village. I spent week and month honing my skills to perfection, and by then, I enjoyed pain. It not only killed my enemies, but also took away my feeling of guilt that mum died for me as I knew, she would be happy about this. I was avenging her, soon, very soon…"

"Did you get your revenge?" I asked as Hidan turned back to me with a sinister smile.

"That's other story," he smirked, gazing up at the sky, or really the greenish foliage of the trees above us. He seemed distant, and very different from me, but really, I had a feeling within me that he was closer to me than any other person had been to me, ever.

Hidan turned his whole body to face me, sitting in a comfortable position with his legs crossed. I chuckled though it hurt my stomach, then strangely I felt a bubbly tickle in my tummy. It rose until it reached my lips, they stretched to the sides and my eyes twinkled. Before I knew it, a genuine, full hearted smile graced my lips.

"Ya know, I'd never had guess your inner animal would be a snake," Hidan commented out of the blue.

"What?" I asked confused at what e was getting at.

"Well, the brat in the weird village Konoha, you know the ninth Jinchuuriki, what's his name. Anyways, like the nine tailed fox he has whiskers, and the Shuukaku has ringed eyes. But you don't show anything about the bijuu inside you," he explained.

"Well, what would you guess at my 'inner animal'?" I joked sarcastically.

"Hmm, a… lioness!" Hidan finally stated "You're quick and make the kill normally. You're someone not to be underestimated. And like a lioness, you're very stubborn at times,"

"Well, you'd be a… leopard!" I smiled slightly, for once in my life forgetting about my blood stained past and enjoying a conversation instead of using it as a distraction. "Because you're strong and fast. You leap through trees expertly and hunt in the darkness like a god of darkness. And you live and hunt by yourself, marking the boundaries clear,"

Hidan smirked at the last statement, but I continued.

"But you also have a weakness somewhere. Like a leopard you may be strong, but like when a leopard kills, it has to eat quickly and drag the prey up a tree to prevent it being stolen. If it isn't fast enough, the mighty leopard will have to give its meal up to even small and weak wild dogs. You must have a weakness, but also, you can't mask the true self forever. A leopard must mate, and they cross territories. The female will raise her children with care and enjoy the company before the life of solitude returns,"

But maybe I shouldn't have continued, as Hidan certainly didn't take it well. His smile disappeared and an angry snarl replace his smile. I wasn't sure whether he was angry at the first statement of his weakness or the company one, or maybe both. But considering him, it would probably be his weakness, after all why would he care about company, he seemed to enjoy the freedom and solitude.

"Let's go," a cold voice interrupted my smile; it was Kakuzu who had a suspicious look on his masked face. Hidan quickly moved away from me and went to pack, trying to avoid me for a while as I lay there, not doing anything. I felt kind of guilty just sitting there not doing any work, as it would have been me normally running all over the place trying to scavenge everything before we left for somewhere else.

"Um, how am I suppose to move?" I asked suspiciously as I painfully twisted my body so I could see my 'team mates'.

"You know, I don't know, never f***ing thought of that," Hidan murmured "So Kakuzu, what you gonna do?"

"You're gonna carry her, unless you think she could walk in that condition," he answered, but before he said anything else, we (Hidan and I) screamed out in protest.

"You're f***ing kidding me, aren't you?" Hidan joked nervously, obviously not liking the idea at all. But a serious glare from Kakuzu concreted our fears, he wasn't joking.

"Hey, I'd rather go through 3 days of pain and freezing cold and split open my stomach than be carried by _him_!" I spat, pointing at Hidan accusingly.

"Well you think I want to carry the likes of _you_?" he countered with a snarl. "I have a scythe to carry already!"

"But you sling that on your back, stop protesting if you don't want to make this journey longer," Kakuzu warned, ready to leave.

That seemed to make Hidan jump onto thee good old enemy side of me, gingerly picking me up as I hesitantly slung my arms on the blades of his scythes carefully as not rip my wounds open. Hidan glared unkindly at me the whole day, and I swear he looked ready to kill me. But really, I wasn't enjoying this, not at all.

"You know what?" Hidan muttered when he leaped through the trees the next day. "I'm starting to wish you did die from the wound, if only that monster didn't protect you,"

"What!" I whispered

"The bijuu stopped your stomach acid from poisoning you, you wouldn't be here without it," he growled back, roughly moving me so I was in a better position that wouldn't stop him from keeping up with Kakuzu.

"Stop moving me, I'm in pain you know, you idiot!" I snarled at I held in the pain of my insides stretching.

"Would you like to walk!" he replied louder.

"I would if Kakuzu let me!" I yelled, harshly pushing Hidan in the head so he got the point.

"Stop arguing!" Kakuzu ordered, interrupting our quarrel. "We're still in the Hidden Snow's boundaries, so unless someone here knows how to fight with opponents who specialize in ice techniques, shut up!"

Hidan hissed some swear words under his breath then sharply poked me in the sides as my punishment, but this was because he couldn't reach anywhere else without dropping me; and thank god he didn't. Frustrated on how long this journey would take, I turned away to the side as I clenched onto Hidan's cloak.

Well, a brief overview on this mission could be described as 'eventful'. Why? Because, just my luck, we bumped into two skilled groups of Jounins from the Hidden Snow… We were still in the Snow's boundaries, but the continuous hailing snow had reduced a light sprinkle where we could actually see 3 meter in front of us.

But these eight Jounins weren't someone to me taken easily like the ones in Yugakure. Why? Because Kakuzu clearly memorized the bingo book for evil people, and they were probably the 20th from the top telling us they were seriously wanted dead. It kinda made me nervous, well because I was injured I still couldn't fight, which left Hidan and Kakuzu to take on 4 skilled Jounins each.

The fight began swiftly as Kakuzu recognized these people, as they knew the cloak only too well. I was dropped by a tree as Hidan engaged in the death fight, but every day for them would be a gamble of life and death. If you weren't strong enough, then you were dead, it was simple.


	15. Bloody Ecstasy

But things weren't looking too good after 10 minutes. Kakuzu was having some difficulty dodging the mixture of fire and ice jutsus, clearly it wasn't his favored style of fighting. Hidan on the other hand, was so busy dodging all the attacks that came his way that he didn't have a split second to draw a symbol though he had ingested the blood many times.

I was tempted to help, but just as I moved towards them in a sudden jerk my body was strongly against the idea. A new spasm of pain shot though my poor body and I couldn't help but give a yelp as I felt a shallow wound rip at my chest. Everyone glanced toward me, realizing I would be an easy target since I was injured already.

Hidan desperately made an effort to distract the ninjas as he made obvious scrapping sounds while he drew the circle and triangle with his foot, but it was all in vain. With a super quick sprint, one of the ninjas from the Hidden snow was behind me with a kunai against my throat while another lunged at me, grabbing my arms and harshly jerking them into an unnatural position. I gasped as they tested how far the bone could bend before snapping with a sickening pop, biting my lip to quiet myself.

I felt the kunai being press into my throat, I could feel the warm liquid run down my skin as my arms throbbed in agony. I shrieked when I felt my bones at the limit of breaking as the kunai was close to breaking through my flesh. But something buried deep inside me bubbled up, saving me from my execution. In a millionth of a nano second, I felt the kunai hastily retreat from my profusely bleeding throat and my arms being freed. But at the same time, I felt something, or really saw something at the corner of my misty eyes. Tails, scaly tails…

I turned cautiously to see what it belonged to, but once more I felt that I should have remained ignorant. I should have ignored it, after all ignorance is bliss. But I was curious, and I let it get the best of me. I followed the tails up as the narrowed, only to find they were connected to me… Like god wanted to prove to me that they were mine, I jerked back, the tailed did the same. I found shortly after would that I could control them with ease like anyone could control their fingers.

But there was more to this transformation; Yuukudo appeared although I didn't summon him. He slithered down near my feet but not entwining himself on me. Just slithering around like a cat would rub against a person to show its affection, only that Yuukudo understood me much more.

"Yamata no Orochi-sama" it purred, bowing it's head, well that's what it looked like. I was confused at the statement; surely I wasn't that, it was supposed to be the bijuu inside me. Turning around to see if there was someone behind me, I nearly fainted. There wasn't someone technically, it was something that was connected to me a bit below my shoulder blades. It was the bijuu only that it wasn't as large as a mountain, maybe a little smaller than Yuukudo but it was definitely top dog/snake. And it made sure the others knew their spot in the hierarchy.

"What did I tell you about dying on us?" it hissed, only that every one could hear and see it clear as day, and mind you they weren't blind. "Now, let's dispose of the trash, shall we?"

Suddenly, a feeling surged through me. It numbed my wounds and flowed through my blood streams. I welcomed the warm and tingling feeling as I felt true supremacy to everyone and everything on Earth and the universe. I loved it, but with it came more complex things. It enhanced my senses by, oh maybe a million times so I could feel the presence of everything on the planet. I could smell the fresh blood on me and the others, I could even tell them apart nicely like oil and water. But deep inside me or Yamata no Orochi, there came a lust, a lust for blood. I licked my lips although it wasn't really 'me' and sniffed at the pleasant metallic smell. It was heaven to me and I wanted more, much more…

I or really the bijuu was thoroughly disappointed at the short and dissatisfying battle. It was easy, too easy lasting maybe only 5 minutes. The blood though was of good quality, fresh A type, my favorite. Licking the last of the stains on my face I looked down at the pile of blood that stained my feet a pleasing red. One of my tails flicked, brushing my hair from my face as the red liquid rippled at the reaction.

But when it settled into a blood red mirror, I was slapped back into reality. Even though this make do mirror was red, I could still discern that my irises were of the same color. It was no longer pleasing to look at myself; I was drenched in the liquid practically. But I hated those eyes, yes they were beautifully delicate and shaped, but it couldn't hide the true intentions that had lay dormant inside me up until now.

I lost to myself in the battle for the lust of blood; I let my other side take over. But some how I think all of me enjoyed my short reign. Especially when I was address by Yuukudo as 'Aaki-sama', because as long as I made my contract with the snake years ago, we were always equal if I wasn't lower. I loved the power that had made me feel different, it over loaded my system and swept away the emotional pain. It was like my drug, but unlike heroin. It had stronger consequences… (And no, I'm not encouraging the use of drug, stay far, far away from them! They kill you TT_TT)

I was shocked back into my old self as I watched the first snake lay lazily on my shoulder while another two lapped at bit it blood stained cloth. I clenched my fists together, only then realizing I was also holding onto something else… Slowly I looked down; bracing myself for the impact but when I saw it I couldn't bottle the fear up.

At the highest voice I could, I shrieked and threw the 'thing' as hard as I could. But it wasn't far enough as a splurt of blood splatter my already drenched body and the snakes lap it up greedily. I stood frozen to the spot, I flexed the hand which I had been holding a HUMAN HEAD like it was a toy. It looked back up at me with a shocked a white face which was only made scarier with the blood still dripping from the roughly severed neck. I breathed with sharp intakes of breath as I stood shaking on the ground.

But I couldn't take it anymore and dropped to the ground, a splash of blood soaked me once more.

'What had I done!' I asked myself silently, I could remember all the things I done, but why didn't I stop them? I was conscious!

Balling my red eyes out, I shrieked hysterically while blaming myself for letting the bijuu inside me loose.

"Stop crying!" Hidan demanded and roughly jerked my head to face him, gripping my damp hair. "If it wasn't them who died, it would have been you! This is a world of dog eat dog, if you're not cruel and strong, then you can consider yourself dead!"

"But,"

"Shut up and let's go. But I thought the wound hasn't healed, how could you move so fast?" Kakuzu cut in once more.

"Uhhh…" I groaned clutching my poor re opened wound. Now that the tingling feeling had disappeared the pain of the wound rushed back raw and even more painful. "I think it's opened again"

Dropping to the muddy ground I curled into a ball protectively and whimpered, looks like another consequence to the high on power. Kakuzu kneeled beside me, checking my wounds. Luckily only the flesh ripped so no self poisoning from stomach acids. Expertly he closed the wounds with neat stitches before leaving emotionally, but this could be from the countless times he had to mend Hidan up, anyone would get sick of it.

But the pain was still there and it throbbed more from the agony from the stitches.

"Hey, you ok?" Hidan muttered just out of curiosity, I swear if I wasn't curled up and moaning he would have kicked me in a test to prove I was still able to move.

"What do you think idiot!" I argued with a glare.

"Ok, I'll just leave,"

"No… Could you get my case for antidotes?... Please?" I asked and the case crashed to my side carelessly. Very quick.

Sorting through the case desperately, fumbling with the tubes when reading the labels.

"Cobra-no, Banded-no, ivy-no, paralysis-no. Anesthetic… Yes!" I cried throwing the cap off in injecting the transparent liquid to the site of the wound.

"Let's go, before more reinforcement comes," Kakuzu ordered, leaping off onto the ice caped river. Hidan carelessly swooped and picked me up following Kakuzu.

"Why are we traveling on the river?..." I mumbled feebly in an attempt to not fall asleep before the answer.

"So we can get to the closest f***ing town and leave this f***ed up island of a country," came the distant reply of Hidan as he ran smoothly across the ice.

The jerkiness of jumps in random directions shook me up from my deep slumber, but it wasn't jumps really, it was sways of a boat.

"You're awake," Hidan sneered, "You've been out for a whole day, that's some powerful anesthetic!"

"Where are we?" I asked deliberately ignorant of Hidan and his stupid comment.

"Nearly back to the Fire country," Hidan whispered back.


	16. Life of Black and White

Sitting up with some difficult I leaned myself on an edge of a small boat that was filled with some others who kept their distance from us. Surveying the area as the boat dipped and rose in the water, I found it slightly comforting. Soon we would be back at the lair, home sweet home. Even though it had people like Hidan and danger lurking in every corner, it was the closest thing I had to acceptance, and I valued that. But how would I explain it our mission to the Leader, would he be mad at our failure?

Hanging my arms over the side of the boat I watched the water crash against the boat and break into a white sheet of foam. The boat was pretty much silent except from the breaks of water, there were no sounds emitted from anyone. They all did their own thing without paying us much attention, thankfully or they may have remembered my face from a Bingo Book.

I stared into the distance, urging the island to come closer at a faster rate. I was agonizing, like it was teasing me with some thing just out of reach. I growled in frustration as e slowly approach the dot on the horizon that was the border of the Fire country. Slowly but definitely we arrived at the dock, and before anyone else, I scrambled of the swaying ship and stepped onto dry land. Unused to the feeling, I stumbled a bit and groaned in pain.

Although my healing rate was unmatched, it didn't mean it would disappear in no time like magic. Magic didn't exist here, only the cold hard truth of things thrived. I felt Hidan's hand clutch at my shoulder and held me up before hesitantly helping me walk back to the cave.

Thankfully, it was only a few hours away so I wouldn't have to bear with too much pain. But it also meant that there would be a shorter amount of time then I would have preferred before facing the Leader. What would I do, should I just keep quiet or freely spill the truth hoping I would be forgiven? Both didn't look like really good plans and they didn't look convincing…

When we walked into the dimly lit cavern, a bad feeling filled me as I followed behind Hidan. Suddenly Leader appeared in the middle of the spacious cave.

"Where is the Jinchuuriki!" he demanded after scanning us briefly.

"Well, it was really weak so we just killed it-" Hidan lied, but was cut of abruptly when Leader furiously started the choke Hidan while he drew out a kunai with his other hand. Hidan couldn't be killed, but that doesn't mean he couldn't be dismantled into parts. And Kakuzu just stood there without a care in the world about his partner.

Hidan who guess what was going to happen desperately tried to pry the hands off his throat while there was a look of horror in his usually joking eyes. There was a spray of blood which splattered my face which I promptly turned away from.

Why were they doing this? Why would Hidan lie when he knew the heavy consequences? Why was this heavy and squirmy feeling inside me? I ground my teeth together as an effort to stop me from breaking up. Why was there a feeling of guilt when I turned my back to the screaming Hidan? Why did I feel like I was betraying him? Strangely I never felt guilty or even a little regret for turning away from Konoha and agreeing to join the Akatsuki, yet I feel uneasy about this jerk?

Many things had changed when I entered the circle of Akatsuki and was forced into the temporary team with Hidan and Kakuzu. I lost the independency I use to surround myself with for protection and worked with these two. I trusted them to watch my back in battle, something I'd never do. Maybe, without really realizing it, I had made friends with these two stupid but loyal and trustworthy idiots…

A shriek of pain from Hidan woke me up from my flashbacks, a pool of his blood at my feet. Making my finally decision, I spun on my heel and charged in front of Hidan, blocking Leader so no further harm could be inflicted on his poor excuse of a body.

"Stop!" I yelled at a furious Leader.

"Move Aaki or you'll be next!" he growled at my foolish words.

"Leave!" rasped Hidan's severed head.

"No! I can't, because I'm the 8th Jinchuuriki, I was the target all along!" I confessed lifelessly "It was me. I had my whole life traded as an item for trade and a weapon for warfare. The person I called 'mother' was just another person. My whole life has been a lie, just put me out of the pain, please!"

Instantly Leader launched himself at me, pinning me to the wall with a hand gripping tightly on my neck while I didn't offer any resistance. Why should I, when I have no reason left for life? As my eyes blurred and my hearing faded off to mumbles, I could barely make out Hidan and Kakuzu's voices…

But then, just as I was about to be enveloped by the welcomed darkness, I was spat out and thrown into the light.

"Please stop," Konan spoke up from a banister "She still has uses and advantages we can harness, isn't that why we're trying to collect the bijuu. Why kill her when she is still loyal to the Akatsuki?"

I noticed that he had loosened his iron like grip and I could some what breathe, but then he threw me carelessly onto the hard wall and stormed out of the room. Leaving me wheezing and gasping for air and I inhaled deeply. I staggered up and began to gather pieces of gore among the lake of blood that stained my shoes and pale red.

"Why'd you just tell him! It's not like he could kill me, I not that weak! It'll only be some stitches and I'll be fine!" Hidan argued, strands of his stain white hair fell around his pink eyes.

"Why did you… protect me and lie? Everyone would find out some time or later," I replied.

"Hmph, like I care what you think!" he shouted back as Kakuzu started to stitch part of him together.

I swiftly left them after dropping the pieces next to Kakuzu, climbing up stairs to my room. I didn't know why, but somehow these people managed to open my heart and break through the barrier I put up. They did what no one could do, but maybe that's because they went through the same things I did so they understood me. But when I thought about what would happen once my secret was out, I no longer felt so open. I was going to be once again isolated because I was once again different from these people.

I was whisked back into the fiery hell which the bijuu inside me called 'home'. Trenches of lava frequently bubbled up and spurt out molten rock.

"Why did you let him push you around? Why didn't you stand up!" an ugly and scaly head hissed in disapproval.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled back "Shut the h*** up and stop trying to f***ing control my life!"

That was the last I heard of it, and never did I feel more alone then I did now. All the reputation and understanding I gain just shattered into millions of pieces that could never be put back together like a puzzle. The barrier around me was erected once more and I found myself separated again. But I wasn't satisfied with my black and white world of pain when I saw the other side of life…

Weeks past, and there were many changes in the Akatsuki lair. The most obvious would be that I had no missions for ages, same as Hidan and Kakuzu. Although they frequently went out to gather bounties, I refused to leave the protection of the base. Even though it was filled with 'evil' people, it felt more like home than any other place I'd lay my eyes on. Also, the place turned to be much more quieter, or maybe it was just around me. I felt cut of from the place, Deidara stopped greeting me and I saw less of Tobi everyday. Hidan changed around me too, he had this 'pitiful' atmosphere around him, I hated it. I don't need him or anyone; I don't need pity because I'm fine! So I was, back to where I started, fears and respected at the same time. Or maybe just hated.

One night, I stumbled over a conversation between two fellow Akatsuki members.

"Can you believe Aaki was really a Jinchuuriki?"

"I know, it's been weeks and it's still scary"

"Not just scary, don' you just hate the way she acts?"

"Yeah, all pitiful,"

"But it'll all b over soon. Have you heard the rumor that's been going around that Leaders gonna kick her useless ass out?"

"Really?!"

I sprinted up the stairs and slammed the door on my way into my room. Throwing myself onto the bed I muffled my tears on the pillow while trying to calm down. But this wasn't like any other nights when a few tears could erase the pain I felt. It was so much more; it was a flood from a dam than what use to be a little rain. Digging my black nails into my skin, I felt it ease ever so slightly. I willed the physical pain to once more take over the emotional turmoil. But it wasn't enough and like a large fire it only grew larger after the wasted effort to extinguish it.


	17. Lost Secrets

Drawing a kunai from my pocket I slid down onto the floor, resting my head and back on the heavy bed. I placed it onto my delicate wrist and pressed down gently until blood rose. Why was I still alive now? What did I have to live for now, to find everything I believed in was fake and just an illusion. Pushing the kunai harder into my wrist so the crimson liquid trickled freely down my wrist and onto the carpeted floor.

Why was a still trying to live when I was already dead inside, emotionally dead? I didn't even know that answer either.

'God, if your there, help me. Lead me to the right path, choose for me whether I live or die. It no longer has any meaning to me any more…' I thought. It was true though, I no longer understood myself or the world. I would let fate or god decide. If I no longer had any use, then die I will. But if there is a will to live and cling on to life, then so be it. I no longer hold the key to life…

I watched dizzily as the blood dripped, forming a little pool around me. Soon I found my body was numb and having no more energy to prop myself up, I rolled onto my side and dropped onto the soft ground… Fate, you better make the f***ing right choice…

___________________________________________________________________________

I woke up with sweat covering my brow and my torso. Clutching onto my blanket I couldn't help but feel something bad was happening. I tried to shake it off like all those other times when I forgot to do a f***ing ritual, but it refused to be thrown off. It urged me on, to wake up and investigate but I was too tired.

Closing my eyes once more and dropping onto my bed ready to sleep, but when I did, something flashed in my mind. It was only for a split second but I knew what it was. Mother… That fully woke me up, and like my long lost conscience, it nagged at me like a mother.

"F***ing fine! I've had enough of this s***!" I growled and stormed out of the room angrily. I was going to get to the f***ing bottom of this c***.

Letting the conscience thing lead me, we walked around the f***ing base twice. I had enough of it, really and deciding it was Jashin-sama wanting another sacrifice soon I headed back for my room. It was dark and I only really got around by a tiny candle which I held in front of me so I could see. It was also very cold and I started to jog silently back.

But suddenly the silence was interrupted by a drop from the floor above. It landed right on the concrete ground one step away from me.

'Must be some water from Kisame's room,' I thought. But it was followed by another, but this time it landed on me head. Slowly it rolled down the bridge of my nose and into the crevices of my lips. It was then I noticed it wasn't water. I had tasted it far too many times to recognize the difference. It was salty and metallic. And Kisame's bedroom definitely wasn't close to the kitchen- it was far, far away.

I rushed up the closest set of stairs as the truth hit me straight in the face. It wasn't water, it was blood…

The candle flickered, casting surreal shadows on the crumbly walls. It flickered a few more times before throwing me into darkness once more.

"You better be f***ing alright," I muttered as I concentrated on remembering my way around in the dark while rushing to the scene.

Feeling my way around was pretty difficult, I stumbled a few time and nearly fell, but I climbed up the stairs and sprinted to Aaki's room at top speed. But there was a awkward 'splash' under my feet that I didn't think was water. I reached desperately for the door knob, feeling all around the door but it was no where. Desperate, I walked back and threw my weight onto the door, hoping that I didn't slam into the wall. Sure enough, there was a loud thud on wood that would receive many complaints, but it didn't go down.

"F***!" I growled, trying once more as I could see out of the corner of my eyes, lights from candles and a few other frustrated members. I was running out of the precious time here.

"Get the f*** here!" I ordered as I gave the door a sharp kick, wishing that I had my scythe with me. Thankfully, Jashin was happy and on my third try I forced open the door, only to have to drop on a thin layer of red.

Flicking on the light switch that was only in bedrooms because 'someone' complained of electricity bills I saw the source of the blood. Truly, it wasn't and scene for the light hearted. Warned you. The poor or stupid b**** was lying on her back, surrounded by a pool of it. Her dead pale skin contrasted with her raven black hair where the only color was the smudge of red on her arms. Both her wrists were in terrible condition, jagged pieces of flesh at the edges like it was the work of a saw cut a circle around it. Her originally black and white clothes were a mixture of reddy black and red. But worse was how her wrists were colored. I may not be an expert on biology, but I now that flesh isn't suppose to be a purple black; it was the work of poison.

I knelt down at her side and quickly checked her pulse and if she was still breathing; luckily both showed good results, she was still alive although if I came a bit later, she wouldn't be.

"You idiot," I murmured as I gently pressed her head to my shoulder, feeling the liquid drip down my hand.

"Zetsu! Get the f*** up! Kakuzu, get your ass here!" I yelled at the tops of my lungs white lifting the light body onto the bed.

I could hear the angry shouts and complains, but they all died down and turned into fast paced footsteps that go louder.

"We saw blood and..." Zetsu muttered, racing to the bed. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't f***ing know, it was like that when I f***ing got here!" I explained, noticing that when I got nervous or angry I swore more.

"What's wrong?" growled the rest of the group.

"I said I don't f***ing know!" I replied, dragging my partner to the limp body of Aaki. "Fix her and do what ever you do!"

He stared at her, taking in on her condition before Zetsu stepped up.

"She's poisoned," he murmured, not panicking like I definitely was.

"Even I can f***ing see that! But what is the poison, how can you f***ing cure it?!" I growled out impatiently.

"It's called Capuriera Moniru (No, I do not now what in god's name that is) normally know as Death Ivy, you can tell by the unique color of the poisoned area; a light purple," Zetsu explained, holding up a neat picture of a long curly piece of green.

"And it's cure?"

"Moure Sakuno which common name is Crimson Feather," Zetsu once again magically held up a picture red spiky plant.

"You have any?"

"No…"

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ANY OF THAT F***ING STUFF?!"

"Aaki might have some in her storeroom for things," he quickly told me.

I stormed off to where the large closet type room was, right next to the kitchen.

"Ok, red spiky thing, come the hell out!" I grumbled frustrated.

I sorted through everything I could find, ditching packets of other herbs with its name marked out in bold capital letters. I nearly cleared out the storeroom, hurriedly dumping all the useless things on the floor. Then I finally saw it, perched on a high shelf just out of my reach. Thinking quickly I jumped up in an attempt to reach it since I couldn't find any chairs.

"Come down you stupid thing!" I growled, reaching desperately for the jar of red.

Then I got mad, grabbing a near by rock or something hard I ditched it at the jar, smashing it into pieces, but also retrieving my antidote. I leaned down to claim my prize when something next to it caught my eye; a book of some sort. I brushed it off and in the dim light of the room I could read 'Diary'. Curiously flicking through the pages I could see Aaki's neat hand writing scrawled out in paragraphs.


	18. Diary of the past

'May 26 1916

My life sucks, none of the kids will play with me. They all say I'm weird. I feel sad today.'

'September 18 1929

I can't take this agony anymore, it's driving my mental. I hate what they say to me, I can read what their eyes and they clearly don't want me here. I've done all I can, I've fought my best and protected the village on many occasions. Yet all I receive is suspicious and feared glances, I don't know if I'm still sane. I don't know what I can do, I wish I was like Shina so I could be respected and liked. Yet that is impossible… There is nothing I can do… All I want is someone to be there for me at no matter what hours of the day, a person to comfort me and love me for who I am. I… just want to be understood…'

(If you can't see, she's getting older and uses more complex words and sentences)

I tucked it into my pocket in interest and ran off after grabbing the red plant thing.

"Ok Zetsu, do your magic and make her better!" I demand, tossing him the plant.

"Hidan, be patient. It'll take at least 3-5 days for her to wake up. And many more until she's fully recovered. Calm down," Kakuzu explained before I was ushered out of the room by them.

I didn't see what happened, but while the other members walked off in their groups discussing the event tonight I stayed at her bedroom door, waiting for news. I must have nodded off at some point, because I was waken my the door ramming into my back as Kakuzu and Zetsu left.

"We'll be back in 6 hours to change to bandages, boil the plant to make the antidote and ointment. Just don't wake us up before then," Kakuzu yawned "And don't go touching the wound or any where near it!"

"Fine…" I mumbled "you jerks,"

I settled gingerly on a plush black chair decorated with checkered cushions-also black and white. I've never been into her room, and neither has anyone else; but she has really gone over board with the tow colors. Looking back at the pale girl who lay in the bed, she blended in nicely with the room with her pale skin.

"There needs to be more color in this room…" I mumbled and sunk in the velvety soft seat as I watched her shallow breaths which barely moved her chest.

Soon I bored and drowsy of the continuous movements that just happened all over again. So, taking out the ancient article of her life, I settled in for a read. This time, starting from the beginning, and taking me time.

I must have zoned out for quite a long time, because Zetsu and Kakuzu were in the room and hurriedly checking and changing the bandages.

"Is she better yet?" I asked, swiftly hiding the journal behind my back while keeping my page with a finger.

"No Hidan. People just don't get better like you, it takes time," Zetsu muttered, definitely angered by the stupid question.

"Even if the healing time is sped up by her bijuu, it'll still take a few days for her to open her eyes again," Kakuzu added.

I left it at that although normally I would have pushed on to annoy them even more. It's just that they both looked tired and their fuse was going to be short, I doubt Kakuzu wouldn't rip me to shreds and refuse to stitch me up if I said another thing. So instead I watched them work in silence. They also ignored me and got deep into work without another sound.

Before soon, they sighed and left the room which sat still in silence, before I broke it. Looking at the half dead Aaki, I could but help to wonder why she attempted suicide?

"You're really stupid for trying to kill yourself bitch. Ever though of talking to someone or calling some sanity help line? (The last bit's a joke coz I haven't heard that telephones were invented…)" I mumbled as I continued to gaze at her cold body.

Then looking down to see my own cloak stain with her blood I growled in frustration. My collar and shoulder were also laced with the liquid. Sighing as I stood up from the chair and taking the book with me I strode to the joined bathroom. I looked around curiously as I shrugged off my cloak slowly. The place was dazzling white, with a shower and elegant bath tube tucked in the corners wile the other two hosted a sink which I was in front now and a full sized mirror close by. And next to that was a closet which was half open, showing bottles of shampoo, conditioner and several other feminine things.

Grabbing a random piece of soap I dipped the cloak into the warm water and started scrubbing furiously, wondering why I didn't notice earlier. The clear water soon turned a murky red which rippled gently until my reflection became steadily visible. As I stared at the distorted picture of me, I couldn't help but notice my eyes were a little redder than normal. Like when some had been crying a while ago; but that's definitely not me. Finally deciding that it was the cause of the water, I squeezed me cloak dry and hung it on a rack by the side before exiting.

Resting on the sofa and taking out my newly addicted book, I continued to read. Now our main character is 9…

21st April 1920

For once in my life, I feel sorta happy! Because today, I'm going to go for my Chuunin exam soon! Maybe when I lead a squad of my own to battle, the people here will acknowledge me, and like me. Although the exams are dangerous and I might loose my life, I still want to try it. You never know, it might be the day where my luck will change and I will meet someone who feels the same as me! Then we could become good friends!

I smirked at her innocence, but at the same time her stupidness. Without reading on I could foretell the story by one look of Aaki with her expressionless face. But, I always saw her as a strong person, like me; yet she still broke down in the end. But as I flip through her diary, I can't help but feel she had a even more depressing life than me. Sure I had my mother taken away from me right in front of me, but Aaki never even knew who they were or even felt real love from anyone. She lived in a world of pain and loneliness every single day. She was drowning in it, slowly through out her short life.

I saw a sharp inhale of breath and directed my attention back to the real person. There was perspiration on her brow as she reached blindly with her bandaged arms.

"No, don't leave me!..." she cried out hoarsely.

I considered calling Kakuzu or Zetsu, but since they were utterly exhausted I decided to wait. Approaching her slowly I perched on the edge of her bed close to her head. I could see tears running down her cheeks slowly but surely. So reaching a hand to brush away the trickling drop, but suddenly her hand clamped down on my wrist and held on tightly.

"Don't leave me…" she muttered once more, grasping tighter on my hand.

"Stop sleep talking/ thrashing," I growled back, and like she understood, she quiets down to a mumble yet still hold me.

AN-Sorry for not updating, I've been busy, but it's holidays, so I'll be writing. You see, I've dug too many holes and now I'm having trouble finishing throwing dirt back in. Too bad I only write long stuff, god I hate that habit. But don't worry I'm not that kind of person that cuts the story while it's going! I'll finish it, someday…


	19. Confusion

I watched as her soon fell into a steady sleep although her hand in mine. It felt weird and strange to feel the warmth of someone else. Not fresh blood or a tepid (I know it's not really correct thing to use) corpse, but the skin of something living. It reminded me of… mother and her calming and caring hugs… Shaking the thought away before an ache in my heart would start; I looked back at the girl. With my free hand I reach hesitantly to her face, stopping a few times due to a change of mind. But eventually I felt her warm skin and wet tears on my fingers. I wiped her damp hair from her brow, feeling the slickness of the hair on my skin.

Human were so fragile, even a slit of the wrist could kill them or at least stick them to the bed for a few weeks… That's why we were so different, we Jashin followers do not worry about death but the eternal time we have to spend roaming on the Earth. We do not fear the reaper as that is just what we are. But the only thing I ever shy away from is emotions. They are such a complex thing, different feelings that I can't comprehend easily; there's greed, happiness, lust, love… Not like pain, that wipes away all the traces of these emotions. It's like a cleanser for these unwanted and useless things. But now, I find myself addicted and curious about things. I want to feel these emotions that people treasure so much. I don't want to just read the definition in books; I want to know what they truly are.

Yet the people who have access to them freely do not treasure them, they hide away from them. Like Aaki, she deliberately isolated herself from them. But the strange thing I don't feel hatred towards her. I have this strange and peculiar emotion that made me smile when I saw her feel happy. I felt sad when she was depressed like before, and grief and frustration and panic when she nearly died. But who was she to me? She wasn't a relative and barely a friend, just a member of the Akatsuki like me. Yet I did want to see her hurt anymore, I wanted her to smile and help her carry the burden of loneliness.

I shook this thing away from me furiously. What was happening to me?! I wanted to experience these emotions that only lowly mortals have. I have changed… too much to even recognize myself. Because of these emotions that separate the Jashin followers from average people, I have taken a wrong path. Was this Jashin-sama's doing, was this a test? Either way I would have to do many sacrifices and rituals to apologize for this mistake.

I threw a glare of daggers at the sleeping girl, it was all her fault that I was going through this confusion and misleading path! I started to regret ever saving her and listening to the 'instinctual warning'. I couldn't believe how stupid I was to go through all the trouble of waking up the whole organization for such a person. Heck, I wouldn't even bother if Kakuzu tried to suicide!

"I told you not to touch the wound you imbecile!" Kakuzu exclaimed furiously.

"But she's going to wake up today isn't she?" I asked.

"I don't know, it could be tomorrow or even the day after that," Zetsu explained softly.

"But…"  
"Just leave her-" Zetsu managed to say before I cut him off quickly.

"I saw her eyes move!"

We all directed our attention to Aaki. It was the third day after that 'incident', and she should begin to wake up from her slumber. There was a flutter of lashes and a groan as she lifted a hand to block the bright light from her eyes.

"Where am I?" she croaked hoarsely.

"Your f***ing room in Akatsuki b****," I growled back. I seriously had an urge to punch her as she tried to fake 'ignorance'. I snarled at her, glaring at her ruthlessly, the idiot who couldn't take reality and tried the easy way out.

___________________________________________________________________________

Staring into his eyes, I felt a chill pass down my spine. I was alive… I was still living… But it looks like someone isn't very happy with that.

"I'm… really alive?" I asked to make sure it wasn't some sort of dream or hallucination in hell.

"Yes, you're alive, b****," Hidan replied.

"Stop swearing so much, can't you say one sentence without cursing?!" I commented.

"No, it's my religion dumb ass!"

"I'm not dumb, so speak for yourself you jerk!"

"Ok, cut it out you two. Hidan, she wakes up for a second and you're onto her, just relax!" Kakuzu demands.

I tilt my head to the side, looking away from the idiot who started arguing with me just when I opened my eyes. I suddenly feel a hand on my wrists and I jerk it back.

"I'm only taking the bandages off," Zetsu replied, but having a Venus flytrap leaning over you is kinda scary. So while he worked on unwinding the white strips of cloth I locked eyes with Hidan in a glaring match.

Although I thought Hidan would crack, he lingered in the room before resting on my best chair.

"Get off it," I mumbled angrily.

"No," Hidan replied with just as much viciousness.


	20. A New Me

I was prepared to storm out of the bed and drag him out of my room, that'll stop him flagging his attitude. But now, I needed to focus and calm down. I was alive, that means fate does have something planned for me… But as Kakuzu and Zetsu exited the room for a well deserved rest from waking up every night (not to mention idiotic questions), my thoughts were interrupted by Deidara and Tobi who barged in. Deidara seemed enthusiastic to see me awake, but Tobi still hid behind him and came in more reluctantly.

"You're awake, un!" Deidara exclaimed happily

"Yeah, I guess," I reply

"Unfortunately…" Hidan added softly.

That was it, I was just awake and needed time to think, yet he just keeps aggravating me, this was the last stick.

"Oh my GOD, what is your problem?! Are you angry that I'm awake or what? You want me to remain asleep forever, don't you?" I yelled, flipping off my sheet and storming over to Hidan.

"Whoa, Hidan didn't you tell her?" Deidara commented "Does she know that you were the one to save her and throw a huge fit-"

Hidan growled and lashed out at him immediately, cutting him off

"Shut up or I'm gonna make you" he threatened loudly while turning a bright red that I suspected was anger.

"Awww, are you to embarrassed that an evil and crazy Jashinist would stay close by her-" Deidara teased.

"That's it!" Hidan snarled and harshly pushed the two out and slammed the door behind them.

"You have some explaining to do," I stated softly.

"No, I don't," he countered, slamming the door and leaving as well.

I was left in silence once again. So slipping on some proper clothes to replace my pajamas, I went to the bathroom. Finally shrugging on my cloak I descended the stair in pursuit of Hidan or maybe Deidara to get things straight. I couldn't find either of them though I looked in every corner, well… Except Hidan's room…

I quickly but silently crept up the stairs, and turned left, walking right up to the room. Counting to three in my mind, I threw open the door scanned the room to see Hidan staring at me with a book in his hand.

"What the f*** are you doing?! Just because I don't die doesn't mean you give me f***ing heart attacks for fun, go try Kakuzu," he commented frustrated.

Ignoring his comment I approached him, grabbing the book off his hands.

"Diary…Hidan you have a diary?" I laughed, opening the book, only to see my own familiar writing scrawled onto white paper.

"Don't" Hidan murmured, retrieving his 'book' before I couldn't read a word.

"It's mine…"

"You shouldn't read it… really," he told me looking deep into my eyes.

"Fine, only if you tell me what Deidara was ranting on about," I say.

"It was nothing, forget it," Hidan mumbled.

Taking a seat on his bead since he occupied the only couch and I didn't want to sit with him.

"I want to know," I pushed.

"I don't want you to," And once again he left me, saying that there was a meeting and I should come along.

So while we were walking, I insisted on knowing yet Hidan in a calm and almost sullen way told me no over and over. So when we arrived early to the meeting when only Konan and Leader was there, I took my seat next to Hidan and didn't push on.

The meeting started quickly and all the other members filed into the room neatly.

"Well, we shall begin. First of all I would like to announce that the point of this meeting isn't all about missions, it's about Aaki." Leader explains and I feel all the pairs of eyes turn onto me. "I'm sure we all know about the last incident, and I wish that I won't happen again,"

"Aaki, I understand that you attempted suicide because of the grief and trouble after you discovered the truth about yourself at your last mission. In order to stop this once and for all, I have decided you will go to Konohagure and end your ties"

"Sasori, Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu, will all go with you"

"WHAT?!" Hidan commented loudly so the sound echoed a few times in the dim lit room. "Why do I have to go with them?"

"All the people that have nothing to do with this can leave," Leader ordered and Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi disappeared quietly.

"Sasori, you will be in charge of not letting any allies of Konoha in, or any Konoha ninja's out. Deidara will be the distraction in the air, you will initiate the attack but try to make it that you are the main force. Kakuzu… you can just cause mayhem and collect bounties or just distract them. Hidan I need you to protect Aaki, don't leave her alone." Leader explained "You will depart as soon as possible, and I want you to be back quickly as this leaves us with weaker defense. Everyone can leave now, except Aaki,"

Feeling isolated from the pack again I watched the members leave as I stayed in my chair. Hidan gave me a glance back, but left as well. I felt uneasy to be alone in this room that was normally littered with chat, I enjoyed the noisy sounds of conversations being thrown back and forth. That's how I imagined the room, even when all was quiet as Leader spoke; I felt that I belonged here with the group, but now I was sitting nervously by my self.

"Aaki, when you arrive at Konoha, I want you to end what you need to end, do what you need to do. And find yourself, and who you are. Come back as a new person, someone who's strong and won't be weighed down by their past. You see, everyone here has a past they would rather not speak of, although they may not show it. Everyone here has a sad story to tell, but they don't let it hinder them." Leader explained "Go, and control your own life,"

I looked at him, blinking at the disbelief of what he just told me. Everyone had a story… but they didn't let that weigh them down… Some how, those few sentences seemed to take most of the pressure that was building up in me, all these years. It was nice to know that there were people like me in the world, people who I could relate to. It's comforting to know, you're not alone. Giving a small grin, I walked out of the room only to bump into Hidan.

"Were you eaves dropping on us?" I teased, feeling bubbly to know that people here understood me. For once, I felt truly happy, to know there was a place for me, called Akatsuki.

"No, I was NOT eavesdropping!" he insisted, quickly turning and sprinting up the stairs in a hurry. I soon followed, pestering him on my way back to my room.

"Hey, who saved me anyways, you know, from the 'incident'?" I questioned.

"OMJ (oh my Jashin) IS THERE SUCH THING MORE ANNOYING THEN YOU?" he snarled.

"Sorry!" I joked sarcastically, sticking out my tongue before entering my room.


	21. Return to Konoha

It wasn't really difficult to get everything ready, since I wasn't bothered to take everything out from the last mission. So I heaved my case out the door to see I was still beaten by Hidan, who was already just resting on the railing for the first floor; next to him was his scythe.

"Ready?" he asked, barely looking up from the ground to acknowledge my presence.

"Yeah," I reply, going to stand next to him, yet remaining silent..

"Let's go…" Sasori muttered from the cave opening. He was inside his favorite puppet-Hiruko. Deidara was also ready as ever, two tiny eagle sculptures resting on his shoulder.

"Coming!" both Hidan and I replied at the same time, racing down the stairs and out into the sunlight. My eyes burned and I sheltered them with my sleeve, I hadn't seen real light in ages and I would take me a while to fully adjust again.

I stumbled and climbed onto the back of the huge eagle, Hidan behind me, while the other three people jumped up onto the other one. I was scared and clung to the sculpture like my life depended on it, although I wouldn't die from the fall, I would definitely break a few bone. So as we took off and the huge wings of the bird swept up dust from the ground before we were soaring in the sky.

But once we were, I lost all the happiness and bubbly ness. Reality popped my safe enclosure like a pin with a balloon. I was suddenly aware I wasn't in my haven anymore. I was on the way to Konoha, to end things cleanly. This wasn't going to be easy, or pretty. I sighed and leaned back to what I thought was the bird only to feel it move as it inhaled air; Hidan. Immediately I lurched forwards to nearly topple off the eagle, but he just carelessly pulled me back, not even bothered to look up.

Even if it was only for a second or so, I was in his hold. With my head on him shoulder I could hear the beating of his heart, feel his warm breath and see his lilac eyes soften for a moment. But he pushed me off him in a swift move and I was clawing into the clay bird for safety. I felt my cheeks redden and my heart beat rapidly increase. I didn't give him another glance until we reached Konoha at the middle of night.

"Listen, we launch the plan at eight o'clock. We follow the orders exactly." Sasori explained.

"Aaki, here's a bomb. Use it in the middle of the village to signal us to fall back. We'll pick you two up at the high bank to the west of Konoha since we can watch how they act about the distraction bomb. It's also a good point to take off," Deidara added, handing me a very strange spherical object with carvings on the side. It also had 'E-43' at the top.

"Uh… thanks," I murmured.

Then, we all split to rest for the night. Hidan and the others just slept on the ground while I perched myself high in the tree.

"End what I need to end, finish what I should finish and find myself…" I whispered to no one. "Great…"

But the real thing that was on my mind was meeting with someone I did know. What would I do, kill them? Even if I was an Akatsuki member I couldn't do that, but…

Early next morning I was startled by a kick which nearly caused me to fall. It was Hidan.

"Get up, we're going," he commented. I jumped out and giving him a glare, went to attach my dual swords to my waist for easier carrying.

"Calm down! I'm coming already!" I shout back, as the dreaded morning still dawned. I didn't get much sleep if any, and it was starting to show with my temper. All night, I was brimming with the thoughts of encountering someone I knew before. What would I do? Would anyone understand my feelings, would anyone listen?

When I looked around, Sasori, Deidara and Kakuzu were no where to be seen.

"Where are the others?" I asked, and Hidan answered grumpily that they left to distract them, when a huge bomb blows, we move.

"So what do we do now?"

"Wait,"

"Then why did you wake me up?!"

"There was nothing to do," Hidan shrugged innocently.

Just as I was about to kill Hidan then stitch him back together, then decapitate him again and throw it into the sea, an explosion to the north attracted my attention. A miniature mushroom cloud formed above Konoha, our signal to set off, although I was rather hesitant. I followed after Hidan with my head low, it's not that I regret joining the Akatsuki, it's just that this isn't the sort of thing I thought came with membership.

But inevitably, we still reached the wall that protects Konoha, although it was more like rubble. The work of the bomb artist no doubt. We walked into the panic stricken village without much notice; most people were on the other side of town, where I could see explosions and blasts of elemental chakara.

Cautiously, we headed toward the west of the village, were the Private Library was, the only way to actually find my past, and myself would be in there. It was my only hope.

But just as we turned into an alley, a kunai embedded itself within the stone wall an inch next to me. Immediately I spun around, as did Hidan to see who our attackers were. With their different animal masks it was hard to identify them, but that was and advantage for me. Actually seeing their faces was what I was scared of.

"So Aaki, you've joined the Akatsuki? We should have known," a male with a red bear mask growled.

"Leading the attack on Konoha for your revenge? Because it's not going to work!" another person snarled angrily.

And with that she charged at me, but I was unable to move, I was pinned to the floor like I was glued there with superglue. Leading my revenge on Konoha… Was this all Leader's plan for using me to annihilate Konoha? Was I once again being used as a tool? Were his words all a made up story filled with lies?! Was I deceived again?

"Stop zoning off, you could be killed!" Hidan yelled, as his loud voice shook me from my hallucinations. I gasped slightly as I saw the sharp sword blade inches from my neck, if not for Hidan intercepting it with his bare hand. Blood dripped from it, pouring from the wound but it wasn't like he was in any danger from it.

"Well, well. Looks like you made a friend, how sweet," she sarcastically smiled, pulling the sword from Hidan's hand roughly. Hidan groaned a little, but proceeded to pull out the black retractable spike and traced his tongue over the sharp tip.

"You're gonna regret you were never f***ing born b****," he grinned evilly then forced the metal through his leg. "You idiots are gonna be sacrificed to Jashin-sama!"

Hidan drew the symbol of his god on the ground while mumbling about all sorts of things like Jashin and pain. And when he was done, he was close to doing the splits.

"You b****, are so dead," he hissed, and with that, the fight began.

It was a two on one fight even though there was five people, but maybe she was a medic. Truthfully, it would be a cinch even if I took her on as well. The ANBU qualifications must have been lowered by the desperate need of people, because the original members could have taken on two and finish in a draw. The only difficulty was that the girl Hidan fought was extremely fast. She could like disappear from in front of you and appear behind for another strike, and Hidan didn't like that. The only chance would be exhaust her chakara supply, and then get her.

I must have been to busy supervising Hidan's fight and not paying attention to my own, because a kunai slit my cheek open although it was only shallow. It wasn't my fault though, after all Hidan wouldn't be drawn into this if it wasn't for me. The least I could do was actually give him some attention and worry.

"So much for the infamous Akatsuki, you suck more than I imagined!" the kunai thrower exclaimed.

Angrily I responded by draw my sword which was coated with deadly poison.

"You're gonna pay for that…" I growled, lunging at him ferociously. It was a heated battle for Hidan, and maybe a little for me. With that medic over there, I was starting to get aggravated. She seemed to have all the cures for my favorite poisons that meant quick death. Maybe Konoha had been in contact with the Hidden Snow? But whatever it was, it wasn't good.

The boy came at me once again, with him friend attacking from my right. Swiftly I responded by using my swords in defense. Metal clashed against metal as the kunai weighed against my blades. I felt the burden of the two people start to grow and I knew I wouldn't be able to force them off much longer. I quickly did a summoning jutsu as I used my nail to draw blood while chanting. Successfully, in two puffs of smoke, the pair of ringed cobras started slithering toward my two enemies.

They of course reacted well, and knowing the danger of the two snakes, dropped off from the contest and back off. I also jumped back, regrouping with Hidan.

"You're not very successful you know?" I teased with a grin.

"We'll normally I'm stuck with someone who actually can do combo's and work together, not you," he countered.

"Well I'm sorry I'm a independent person!" I hissed back.


	22. Trust Me

"Oh bravo, you just made a record Jashinist," the b****said, giving a ironic clap. "You aren't feeling anything in the cut yet?" Hidan only growled in protest, clenching him hand into a fist. But I was worried about him, this girl was up to something. Hidan attempted to charge at the girl in frustration, but was stopped by me. I grabbed his by the wrist and yanked him back.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing," Hidan replied, and tried to yank himself free.

I ignored his curses and forcefully pried the fist open, to check on the wound. But it was in worse condition than I thought. The blood hadn't clot yet and anyone could tell… there was poison in there. I started to grind my teeth in frustration, it would take time to find the mixture of poison, then the antidote, but did I have time?

Immediately, I took out a needle from my pocket and drew out some blood from the protesting Hidan. It was for his best.

"Hidan, cover me while I figure this out," I ordered, but I wasn't sure if Hidan would listen to me obediently or throw a tantrum.

"Good luck!" the b**** laughed "Even you Aaki, a master of poison wouldn't figure it out, and even if you do; it'll be too late,"

I pulled out another needle and Hidan shifted uneasily.

"Just stop struggling and trust me!" I yelled

"Yeah, 'trust' you, I would for my life!"

"Listen, this is an antibiotic that will slow down the poison, not another toxin so just let me inject it! It'll save your life!"

"I don't die remember, I'm immortal!"

"Yeah, but by the effects of the drug I would say it's slowing you down. Then after a while, you'll faint then get chopped up and turned into smithereens!" I hissed, forcefully injecting the antibiotics. "Now just cover me while I save you!"

Hidan sighed a little at my panic attack, but he didn't know the extent of what poisons could do to your system; immortal or not. In a swift swipe, he snatched up his scythe and charge in while I unsealed my case and got to work. Although I didn't like those words that b**** said. It ate away at my confidence and left me feeling empty and panicky. I opened the case and pulled out all sorts of test tubes in a hurry. That included all sorts of testing equipment to find out what the poison was made up of.

Even I noticed that Hidan's speed was slowing down drastically, sometimes he would have to step out of the circle to avoid the attacks, and there were few times where he could raise his scythe to block the move. There was a lack of enthusiasm with the fight, and I could tell Hidan wasn't at all enjoying it. He was definitely getting weaker and weaker as the poison drain the life away from him.

Okay, so the poison isn't a paralysis inducing agent or a numbing toxin…

Hidan breaths are shorter and detached, and his chest is heaving for air. His eyes are becoming weary as he dodged the shots from the ANBU. His normally well kept and combed hair was messed up, sticking up wildly and some clung to his brow with sweat which dripped down his face. This wasn't good…

Okay, isn't a nerve seeking or red blood cell destroying one. Thankfully, or I would have to worry greatly about side effects and the time I had on my hands.

Hidan backed away from the gang, resting his weight on the scythe. Even I could tell he was reaching his limit. He had managed to kill once person while leaving another gravely wounded beyond help unless Kakuzu was willing to stitch an arm and a leg on. Blood which was colored an odd purplish red oozed from his wounded chest. It was pretty deep although not to the heart, and it forced the organ to pump harder, efficiently spreading the poison.

I slammed my fist onto the make shift table. I wasn't going anywhere. So far, the poison was a white blood cell attacker, a 'warning bell' one meaning it didn't fake the presence of a disease and cause the body to produce huge amounts of antibodies and wasting energy, it didn't attack the brain or any organs specifically. I grabbed the tube full of blood and held it above my head in a effort to smash it, but as I laid my eyes on the sparkling bottle, I got a odd idea.

I shoved the blood in a centrifuge while I filed through possible results, only one coming into my mind-Tynemonical bacterium. As the light machine came to a halt, I pulled the tube out and comparing the color to an imaginary chart, I knew I was right. T.B. for short, it is used commonly in sleeping pills as it has an effect that makes people drowsy and slower. But using too much and adding some other things to disguise it, it becomes a meddling poison.

Hidan, meanwhile wasn't in such a good mood, or position. The number of bruises on his skin had increased madly, and it looked like he was paler from blood loss. The symbol which he had drawn previously was washed with blood, making it unrecognizable. Before soon, he was cornered as he lay slump on the floor.

"It's too late Aaki, it's over…" it b**** who managed to survive hissed. And with that, she raised the sword above her as she smiled evilly.

Without thinking or even passing the thought through my head, I flung myself desperately to my partner. The only thing I could think of was reaching him in time, as I plunged the needle in. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the flash of the sword under the sunlight as it came closer. Closer, to death as I clung to Hidan with my eyes pinched closed. 'Somebody, save me…'

There was an unnatural screech, like when you drag your nails on a window. I looked up nervously to see a shadow like creature towering over me.

"So weak," Yamata no Orochi snarled, tossing the two people to the wall carelessly like they were only a mere toy. There was a sickening crash of bones as the wall caved into to form their grave.

The two heads, I found were joined to me like the first time, but I was no longer scared of them. Hidan stirred in my lap, and instinctively I pushed him off, a tinge spreading like wildfire on my cheeks.

"Hey, looks like the fights over," he muttered, chuckling at the damage softly.

"One more left," Yamata no Orochi hissed signaling at the shaking mass of the medic against the wall. Suddenly, it darted forward, opening its jaws on the girl whose feet were planted on the ground. But at the last second, she mustered up the courage to move, jumping out of the way. Although she wasn't fast enough to get entirely away. Her mask was caught in the crunch on the jaws, to reveal her long blond hair, and bright blue eyes widened in pure fear-Shina.

I gasped at the discovery of my 'sister'; I tried to turn away before my face gave it away and pull Hidan from the battle. But the bijuu inside wasn't agreeing, and in turn forced my body to move toward the girl as I picked a stained kunai up from the bloodied ground. But as I raised it to her neck in jerky movements, I felt the control dissipate, like it was waiting for me to deliver the final blow. So I couldn't later blame it entirely for this.

With shaking hands I forced it to her neck as I locked eyes with her. They were frightened, and desperate to run. I turned my head away from those pitiful eyes and took take a deep breath to calm myself. I continued to press the kunai to her neck, but it was slower and gentler as I was grasping my decision in my mind. My internal organs felt like they were twisting up, and I felt like I would throw up as I clawed painfully at my chest. My breathing began to be more difficult, like my lungs shrunk in capacity.

"Shina…" I whimpered to myself.

But at the last moment, I ditched the kunai on the ground and shook my head, feeling the disappointment and frustration of the two snakes which slunk away.

"I can't do it," I mumbled feebly. "Even if I am supposed to end all ties, I can't. Even if we aren't related by blood, I can't fully severe the bond, yet."

"Leave, now. Before I change my mind," I ordered "Don't let me see you again, if I do… I won't hold back against you,"

And with that, I eased Hidan's arm over my shoulder, popped a solider pill in his mouth and carried on to the Library.

"Aaki," I heard him mumbled softly and I leaned in to hear him clearer, "Thanks…"

I smile in response and raise my hand with a light green glow of chakara and positioned it on his back.

"I didn't know you were a medic?" he stated.

"I prefer to keep it quiet,"

"Why?"

"Because, I have reasons…" I replied quietly and moved my hand to another wound.


	23. Longer than Time

Soon Hidan could walk, or stumbled on his own and I promptly let him go. As we slowly walk to our target, we watch the explosions and panic in the north while it was another world over here. In silence, we paced to the large office of the Hokage, which was currently empty. Cautiously I pushed the door gently and it swung open without a squeak.

I felt my body rush with adrenaline as we jogged closer and closer to the room that held my past. I anxiously pushed opened the doors of the Library and headed straight for the shelf labeled 'M'. Hidan meanwhile wandered into the 'Missing Ninja's' section, not that I cared. Probably looking for blackmail material. Sigh…

Swiftly with flying fingers, I flipped through the alphabetically ordered files. 'Miha, Mihama, Mijake, Mijame, Mikai, Mikaru…' With a breath of thankfulness, I grabbed the folder and flipped it open. In it was 'Mother's', 'Fathers', Shina's separate folders… WHERE'S MINE?!

I flipped through the Mikaru folder again in panic, with no success. I bit my lip, nervously wondering where the hell it was. What happened to it? Where the hell did those Konoha jerks put it?!

"Hey, your folder's here too!" Hidan commented, shaking me out of a mental breakdown. With unnatural speed I sprinted over to Hidan, and snatched the folder out of his hands harshly with a snarl.

Eagerly, I flipped it open, to see all the information on me. I was almost relieved and would have hugged it if Hidan wasn't eyeing me oddly.

Name-Mikaru Aaki

Rank-Missing Nin

Birth Date- 17th April 1911

Blood Type-A

Specialties-Vessel for Eight Tailed Bijuu, Yamata no Orochi.

Birth Place-Hidden Snow

Height-162.3cm

Weight- 52.9kg

Combat-Close range to Mid range

I sighed in disappointment, this wasn't any help. It didn't tell me my identity, just a name which cold be anyone's. Who was I, without the name, who was I? Was I just a girl among the population? Was there anything that would have separated me from the crowd?

My thoughts were interrupted by Hidan, who rashly stuffed the whole Akatsuki folder in his coat and muttering a swear word under his breath, grabbed my hand and sprinted off from the darkened room.

"What's wrong?" I asked, confused as the wind whipped the sentence from my lips.

"What's wrong with you? Couldn't you sense it? The ANBU were coming. Since you have what you came for, we're Leaving this c***py place," he replied as we weaved between the alleys and the piles of rubble. "Throw the thing Deidara gave you,"

I nodded slowly, taking in what he said and threw the spherical object in the air. Hidan immediately picked up speed, heading for the ledge Deidara picked out, where we would survey the escape of the rest of the gang. A deafening bang could be heard from behind, the sound waves shook the ground like a 7 magnitude earthquake. I swore that even a building collapsed under the force.

Hidan released his iron like grip on me when we dropped down on the plush green grass. I plopped myself onto the natural carpet, leaning against a mighty oak tree that shadowed us from the afternoon sun. But despite the soothing surrounding, it wasn't making me relax at all. Instead the cheerful atmosphere had the opposite affect, I felt like c*** compared to it. It was like I had a knot in my throat, and it wasn't going to untie itself soon.

"Who am I?" I muttered over and over to myself "Who am I?..."

"Mikaru Aaki, duh," came the reply of Hidan "Don't tell me you lost your memories, whack your head on something? You need me to whack it again? DO YOU KNOW ME?"

"I KNOW YOU HIDAN!" I screamed into his ears.

"But going back on topic, I want to ask you, who am I, without the name. Because if anyone called themselves Mikaru Aaki, would they become me?"

"Of course not, you're supposed to be smart aren't you?" he replied straight away "You would have different personalities and looks,"

(You may notice a change of style in my writing, this is because I haven't touched this story for quite a few months, sorry!) "And what is I was completely the same in every form?"

He shook his head, dumbfound "Then you'd be a clone,"

I smirked, did a few simple hand signs, a large dominant cloud of white smoke exploded around me. Soon, there were hundreds, and hundreds of me, scattered around in no certain pattern. All of us simultaneously directed our eyes on the single Hidan. "Can you tell us apart? Do you know who it the true Aaki?!"

He stood up, not in any sort of hurry. He approached one of us, a smirk on his face. His fingers dangled around 'my' face, brushing some pieces of stray hair away absent mindedly. His hand locked around my wrist and drew astoundingly close to my face. Suddenly, with no reason he leant down and our lips connected. I guess I was so surprises, my cheeks flamed and I abruptly released the jutsu. Once again, white smoke wrapped around us. The memories, the shock returned to me. Hidan…

He closed the gap around us in a step, before the cloud had completely cleared. "I told you I'd find you, always,"

I didn't know why I didn't slap him silly. I didn't know why I let him approach me, let his breath sweep across my face. "Hidan…"

He smiled, softly and leaned down. Our lips brushed and I left his hand reach for mine. It was a silent thing, nothing else. The wind swept past the lush green grass. It rippled our hair, gently tugging at it. Suddenly, it was all about us. Nothing else mattered, just our feelings for each other. Nothing felt so strong, like it would out last, the earth, and time itself. It seemed endless, and without a start. Maybe, I didn't realize it when it was all around me, protecting me in its own way. I was just too thick to see that.

Hidan broke off abruptly, but our hands remained linked.

"Come on let's go back," Deidara said with a smirk on his knowing face. On the bird was also the rest of the ninja's, all perfectly intact.

I nodded, pulling Hidan along to the free ride. "Let's go home, I'm already missing it, and everyone else"

Yay! I finished it! Well, I hoped you liked the ending, I've been pending on it for ages. Aaki finally realizes her true place, her home! Not to mention she's found something else too…

Well, watch out for my newest story, coming out soon! It's Kaleidoscope!


End file.
